Week Five: Mississippi SSR is Burning with Excitement

Share Button


Is most important weekend in entire history of Mississippi SSR administrative district! Of course, this is first reference to glorious 18-17 narrow victory of Ole Miss Rebels over Golden Knights of UCF this past weekend. With victory, Rebels is remaining undefeated #1 Top Power rank team for second week, consecutive. But is not only surprising good team in Mississippi SSR! Mississippi State Bulldogs, who is losing many games in history, and winning very few, is also surprise unbeaten, defeating Florida Gators 29-20 in Week Five of Commie Football.

Every American college football fan is all-of-sudden saying, “Dude! Can you believe it, man? Like, Ole Miss and Mississippi State are suddenly like, kicking ass, bro!”

In Russia, is not surprise. Advanced Soviet supercomputer algorithm is revealing weeks ago that both Ole Miss and MSU Bulldogs is starting season with very good Top Power rating. Once again, superior Commie Football system is revealing hidden truth about many American college football teams, many weeks more early to American underground media.


  • District 1: Unbeaten Temple Owls (5-0, #4 Top Power rank) is opening two-game lead in North Division, is continuing streak of winning with 27-15 victory over Pitt; Penn State (4-1, #22) is defeating defending District Champion Boston College, 23-19; also, Army (1-4) is winning first (and perhaps last!) game of season vs. hated rival Navy Midshipmen, 32-22.
  • Is surprise leaders in District 2! Kentucky Wildcats (5-0, #12) is continuing season of amazement so far with 33-31 close victory over Duke; East Carolina Pirates (4-1) is “Czar of Carolinas” and leading South Division after 45-31 defeat of Gamecocks of South Carolina.
  • District 3: The Fighting Irish (5-0, #6) is enjoying easy 29-14 win over Bearcats of Cincinnati, is leisurely walking away with North Division; Ohio State Buckeyes (4-1, #13) is having highest Top Power Score in country after 50-24 victory over Hoosiers of Indiana, but is only ranking #13 due to Week One loss to USC; rematch of last season round two playoff game is finding Louisville Cardinals beating Michigan State 25-16.
  • District 4: In East Division, defending champion Florida State Seminoles (5-0, #5) is making 33-10 humiliation of Alabama Crimson Tide, who is desperate searching for first victory of season; Auburn Tigers (5-0, #9) is keeping FSU company at top of standings; is much celebration in Mississippi SSR as both Ole Miss (5-0, #1) and Mississippi State Bulldogs (5-0, #10) is continuing with victories.
  • District 5: In spite of hideous blackout uniform, Northwestern Wildcats (4-1, #15) is leading North Division following 20-17 victory over Iowa Hawkeyes; Golden Gophers of Minnesota (4-1) is keeping pace with 26-19 win vs. Kansas Jayhawks; in rematch of last season district championship game, Mizzou is once again beating Wisconsin, this time by score of 24-19.
  • District 6: In only Week 5 battle of undefeated teams, it is Razorbacks of Arkansas (5-0, #8) defeating TCU Horned Frogs 36-32; In West Division, Texas A&M (5-0, #3) is winning 47-32 vs. the Ragin’ Cajuns of ULM; and of course, there is Baylor Bears (5-0), who is catapulting to #2 Top Power rank following 35-7 dismantle of LSU.
  • District 7: Largest upset win of week is Air Force (2-3) handing first loss of season to mighty Sooners of Oklahoma, by score 34-27; Oklahoma State Cowboys (4-1, #18) is defeating strong Boise State 42-35; BYU (4-1, #20) is in lead of North Division after 52-21 crushing of Tulsa.
  • District 8: California Golden Bears (4-1, #21) is making second large upset win of season with 39-36 defeat of Stanford; Is three-way tie between Cal, Oregon State Beavers (4-1, #24) and Washington Huskies (4-1) in North Division; in South, Trojans of USC (5-0, #11) is barely beating Nevada 43-42 and UCLA (5-0, #7) is taking down once flying-high-in-sky Oregon Ducks 30-27.


Here is photo of Soviet Cosmonaut mission to explore black hole in outer space. Mission is almost failing, but brave Cosmonauts is facing danger with utmost of confidence, and all is returning to Mother Russia safely.

Here is photo of Soviet Cosmonaut mission to explore black hole in outer space. Mission is almost failing due to small star rolling through ship, but brave Cosmonauts is facing danger with very much of confidence, and all is returning to Mother Russia safely after mission is complete.

Meanwhile, on Tier 2 level, is chaos at top of Top Power 25! Top teams from last week – Coastal Carolina, Villanova, and UTEP – is all losing game in Week Five. This is creating “vacuum effect” at top of rankings.

Colorado State Rams (5-0) is new #1 Top Power team, winning 47-20 against San Jose State, who is team just being relegated from Tier 1 level after last season. You are remembering that CSU is last season, only losing by one point in Tier 2 Semifinal Playoff Game. This season, Rams is playing like team on mission. Mission is to sow destruction throughout Tier 2, win championship, and receive invitation for promotion to Tier 1 next season!

Georgia Southern is leaping to #2. This team is being followed by Akron Zips (#3), Texas State Bobcats (#4), Western Michigan (#5), Yale Bulldogs (#6), William & Mary (#7), and rest of list is here ongoing.


Southern Miss is also having winning 3-2 record, and is good enough for top of District 4 South Division. If Golden Eagles is continuing to win and rise in Top Power rankings, suspicion is growing strong around whole world that Commie Football is accepting bribe from rich comrades in Mississippi SSR. Is not true! As show of proof, is now new rule:

If all Mississippi Tier 1 and Tier 2 teams is making playoffs, Commie Football is giving authorization for Red Army invasion and occupation of Mississippi SSR.


Look at Jackson State – no victories, and bringing up rear of District 4 South Division. Is nothing to fear.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *