Week 12: In St. Boz, All of Sooner Nation is Trusting

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St. Boz

Many fans of Oklahoma Sooners is making prayer to holy painting of St. Boz before victory in final game of regular season over Tulsa Golden Hurricane.

REGULAR SEASON IS FINISH

Upon completion of exciting Week 12 schedule, 2015 Commie Football regular season is reaching conclusion. Every fan is now restless with anticipation for Commie Football playoff, when 16 teams is entering tournament to determine true champion of American college football.

Is seeming only short time ago when Buckeyes of Ohio State is defeating Oregon Ducks 42-20 for 2014 championship (da, final result is same as in CFP system). In final week of 2015 regular season, defending champion Ohio State (8-4, #17 rank) is demonstrating difficulty of championship repeat, as Buckeyes is falling to Michigan State Spartans (9-3, #11) by 34-29 score, which is cruel to both, as this result is handing District 3 North division title to hated Michigan Wolverines (9-3, #10)!

Commie Football is world in which superior organization and schedule is producing interesting, unexpected result! Entire realm of American college football can only guess who new, true champion will become!

In meanwhile, drama in District 6 is reaching resolution, as top-ranked Oklahoma Sooners (11-1, #1) is making fresh farsh of little brother Tulsa Golden Hurricane (3-9) in 63-22 victory, to claim North division title over Oklahoma State Cowboys (10-2, #4), and for this reward – an invitation to District 6 Championship game against South division champion, Houston Cougars (8-4, #23).

At this time, you are forgetting about 80 teams not making to playoffs. Teams is now dead, like Trotsky! Think as if these teams is never existing, like American sasquatch (this is not same as yeti of Siberia, which is true living there). Is never too many bowl games with losing-record teams and corporation sponsor named after fruit!

YOU ARE READY FOR TRUE, BEST PLAYOFF SYSTEM, DA?

In korrumpirovanny College Football Playoff system, true opportunity for championship glory is for four teams, only. Teams is winning popularity beauty contest, ruled by alluring Condoleezza Rice. Many is killing and dying in argument over who is 4th best team in country! In superior Commie Football playoff system, is 16 TEAMS in hunt for title! And best yet, because of system of geographic Districts, football fans in every corner of country is having nearby hound in championship hunt!

Here is quick review of Commie Football playoff:

  1. 16 teams (from each Tier) is making to Round 1. Division winners is facing other Division winner from same District in District Championship game.
  2. In Round 2, eight District Champions is playing one another in seeded, single-elimination tournament to determine new champion.
  3. Round 3, is four teams left.
  4. National Championship Game

Is best system to find true champion! All must travel difficult 16-game schedule (12 regular season, then four playoff rounds) to seek ultimate championship glory!

CONTENDERS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY

TIER 1 PLAYOFF TRACKER

District 1:CONN vs. WVU
District 2:DUKE vs. CLEM
District 3:MICH vs.
MEMP
District 4:USF vs. MISS
District 5:ND vs.
IOWA
District 6:OKLA vs. UH
District 7:UTAH vs.
USAF
District 8:WASH vs. USC
Georgy told me I could say something about the Tier 1 playoffs, since Yale like, totally blew it on Tier 2 this season, and I stopped paying attention a while back (yeah, yeah – but I know they lost to Harvard this week, whatevs). I don’t really know what to say about Tier 1. I mean, at least UConn’s representing the same state, but who’s fooling who? Yale might even be able to beat UConn, looking at their offensive rating.

Here is information for which all college football fans is waiting with much patience. All Tier 1 division winner teams is traveling to District Championship Game (a.k.a. Round 1 of Commie Football playoffs):

  • District 1: Connecticut Huskies (8-4, #27) vs. West Virginia Mountaineers (8-4, #21) – In weak District 1, mediocre 8-4 record is enough to win both division titles! UConn is previous defeating WVU 37-19 long time ago in Week Five, but is now lower in Top Power ranking, with very bad 71st rank offense! But, is ferocious 3rd rank defense carrying Huskies into playoffs. WVU is flying below national radar, like MiG fighter jet, but is ending season with 4-game win streak, including high-pressure final week 43-11 defeat of Penn State (7-5) to seize division!
  • District 2: Duke Blue Devils (9-3, #14) vs. Clemson Tigers (9-3, #13) – Duke is winning final two games of regular season to remain one step ahead of North Carolina Tar Heels (8-4, #18) in standings, despite mediocre, 51st rank offense. Who is responsible for Blue Devils most recent loss? Why, is Clemson in Week Ten! Tigers is also possessing unexciting offense (47th) and defense (27th) output, but is playing overall more difficult schedule than Duke, requiring three victories at end of season to remain ahead of surprise sweetheart of America team, Appalachian State (8-4, #30)!
  • District 3: Michigan Wolverines (9-3, #10) vs. Memphis Tigers (8-4, #26) – Wolverines was #1 Top Power rank team for two weeks consecutive early in season, but is then making stumbles, including losses to Indiana Hoosiers (7-5), Ohio State (8-4), and opponent in championship, Memphis Tigers in Week Six. Tigers is clinching weak South division early on strength of lightning, 9th rank offense, despite strange losses to weak teams such as Vanderbilt (5-7) and Louisiana Tech (5-7).
  • District 4: South Florida Bulls (10-2, #3) vs. Ole Miss Rebels (9-3, #7) – Miracle USF is perhaps most surprise team of season. With good-enough offense (25th) and strong defense (10th), Bulls is going 4-1 in loaded East division, losing only to Florida State (8-4, #15) in entire District! This is including Week Ten victory over Ole Miss, who is making return appearance to playoffs. Defense (24th) is perhaps not as good as last season, but offense (16th) is making pleasant humming sound, winning division on strength of Week Two victory over Crimson Tide of Alabama (9-3, #8).
  • District 5: Notre Dame Fighting Irish (9-3, #5) vs. Iowa Hawkeyes (11-1, #2) – First season in new district is lucky for Irish, who is falling no lower than #18 Top Power rank during entire season, clinching division early so that 35-28 loss to Wisconsin Badgers (8-4, #16) in final game of season is of no importance. Good balance of offense (17th) and defense (15th), and very difficult schedule is making Irish true contender. Hawkeyes is making return to playoffs, this time as top contender with very strong defense (5th), losing only one game in Week Five to… uh oh, it was to Irish!
  • District 6: Oklahoma Sooners (11-1, #1) vs. Houston Cougars (8-4, #23) – Sooners is making return appearance to playoffs, but from different District. Top-rank offense is ensuring many victories with 46 points/game on average. Only loss is in Week Two to “Bedlam” rival Oklahoma State (10-2, #4), who is sad staying home. Houston is losing first two games of season, then exploding with 6th rank offense to win four games in division, including Baylor Bears (7-5). Close Week Ten loss to Oklahoma is giving Cougars hope of victory on second attempt!
  • District 7: Utah Utes (9-3, #12) vs. Air Force Falcons (8-4, #29) – 12th rank defense of Utah is smothering opponents as Utah is winning final five games of season. But this is first meeting of season with Air Force, who is surprise champion of weak South division, playing steady for most part except in embarrassing 71-31 loss to Texas Tech (5-7) in final game of season. How is this score possible for playoff team?
  • District 8: Washington Huskies (9-3, #9) vs. USC Trojans (9-3, #6) – Huskies is having very powerful offense (13th) and defense (11th), defeating USC in Week Six, but then experiencing strange mid-season spell of losing immediately after. Trojans is requiring dramatic final week victory over Stanford Cardinal (8-4, #19) to take South division and return to playoffs.

Later in week is official revealing of all 16 Tier 2 playoff teams. (In meantime, here is hint – Week 12 standings, scoreboard, and Top Power rankings is providing necessary information to know ultimate fate of Tier 2 regular season and playoff lineup. Please keep as secret.)

Week 11: All Oklahoma SSR is Holding Breath

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Fans in Oklahoma SSR is racing to purchase ticket for college football playoff game, but is yet uncertain which team is to represent District 6 North division.

Fans in Oklahoma SSR is racing to purchase ticket for college football playoff game, but is yet uncertain which team is to represent District 6 North division.

WILL #1 RANK TEAM OF AMERICAN COLLEGE FOOTBALL NOT MAKE TO PLAYOFF?

TIER 1 PLAYOFF TRACKER

District 1:CONN vs. South Champ
District 2:North Champ
vs. South Champ
District 3:North Champ vs.
MEMP
District 4:USF vs. West Champ
District 5:ND vs.
IOWA
District 6:North Champ
vs. UH
District 7:UTAH vs.
USAF
District 8:WASH vs. South Champ

Is mere one game remain in 2015 Commie Football regular season, but is yet seven empty spaces on Commie Football Tier 1 playoff tracker! Following Week 11 games, six additional teams is now qualifying for Tier 1 playoffs: UConn Huskies, South Florida Bulls, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Houston Cougars, Utah Utes, and Washington Huskies. You remember, first round of playoffs is eight District Championship games – one division winner is playing other division winner from same District.

Eight “District Champions” is then competing in seeded playoff tournament. Is much better system than NCAA, where mere handful of teams is having true, legitimate opportunity for playing in minuscule, four-team College Football Playoff! Is idiot solution.

But there is yet strange situation in District 6. Last week, Oklahoma Sooners is becoming #1 Top Power rank team in country, according to Soviet supercomputer. Close rival Oklahoma State Cowboys is then #2 Top Power rank, but is ahead of OU in District 6 North division standings, due to OSU victory over OU in Week Two.

Tension in Oklahoma SSR is reaching all-time high! Could #1 Top Power rank team in nation not make to playoff, due to early season loss to #2 team, who is with coincidence in same division? Da, comrade! Is possible in Commie Football!

Odnako, this week Oklahoma State is ruining drama of situation somewhat with loss. You are reading recap below. But yet, is possible for either team to win division in remaining week!

Here is Week 11 roundup of important game results:

  • District 1: UConn Huskies (8-3, #19 rank) is defeating Wake Forest 27-15 to claim District 1 North title and invitation to District 1 championship game; WVU (7-4) is defeating rival from same SSR, Marshall Thundering Herd 38-9; Because Penn State (7-4) is losing 30-18 to Rutgers Scarlet Knights, final game of season between PSU and WVU will determine South division title and championship game berth; Navy (7-4, #24) is defeating rival Army 38-21, and is strongest team in South according to Top Power rank, but Midshipmen is already eliminated from playoff contention due to losses to both PSU and WVU earlier in season.
  • District 2: Blue Devils of Duke (8-3, #20 rank) is beating Maryland Terps 41-35, but North division title is elusive due to Week 2 loss to UNC; Speaking of, Tarheels of North Carolina (7-4, #25) is beating Syracuse 36-28, but is requiring Week 12 victory over Wake Forest and Duke loss to make playoffs; Clemson Tigers (8-3, #16) is defeating NC State 31-27 to control South division, but Week 3 loss to Appalachian State is causing delay in celebration; Meanwhile, App State (7-4) is defeating Ohio Bobcats 42-26, to maintain playoff dream until very end!
  • District 3: Defending champion Ohio State (8-3, #12 rank) is losing in 31-24 upset to Pitt Panthers (4-7), damaging hope for Buckeye repeat championship; Wolverines of Michigan (9-2, #4) is beating Northwestern 18-14 to take lead in North division playoff hunt; With South division title already in paw, Memphis Tigers (7-4) is losing like lazy dog to Louisiana Tech 24-13; Michigan State Spartans (8-3, #14) is impressive in 15-10 victory vs. Wisconsin Badgers (7-4, #22), but cannot win division, due to Week Nine loss to hated Wolverines.
  • District 4: Miracle South Florida Bulls (9-2, #6 rank) is clinching District 4 East title with 56-19 defeat of South Carolina Gamecocks; Ole Miss (8-3, #7) is defeating Mizzou 29-12 to maintain edge in District 4 West playoff race; Crimson Tide of Alabama (8-3, #9) is beating defending District 4 champion FSU (7-4, #21) 23-22, but playoff dream is depending on victory vs. LSU next week, and Ole Miss loss.
  • District 5: Since Wisconsin is losing, Fighting Irish (9-2, #3 rank) 34-22 defeat of old enemy USC Trojans (8-3, #8) is clinching District 5 North title; Already victor of South division, Iowa Hawkeyes (10-1, #2 rank) is beating Golden Gophers of Minnesota 32-26 and will face Notre Dame in District 5 championship game!
  • District 6: Sooners of Oklahoma (10-1, #1 rank) is beating enemy Texas Longhorns 31-27, but playoff spot is yet insecure; Oklahoma State Cowboys (9-2, #5) is blowing opportunity in 39-22 upset defeat to BYU Cougars (6-5), but is not yet dead like Trotsky – if Tulsa can defeat Sooners next week; Houston Cougars (7-4) is losing 18-17 in shame to lowly UTEP (2-9), but is yet clinching South division title when Baylor Bears is losing in shame to Arizona State Sun Devils (6-5)!
  • District 7: Utah Utes (8-3, #18 rank) is clinching North division title with 31-12 defeat of Oregon State Beavers; Washington State (7-4) is defeating Boise State (6-5) 32-16 to crush Bronco playoff dream; Fans of Air Force Falcons (8-3, #17) is yet in shock over South division title, but team is downing Colorado State Rams 40-22 to maintain proper playoff altitude. Is Utah vs. Air Force in District 7 Championship game!
  • District 8: Washington Huskies (8-3, #11 rank) is seizing North division title with commanding 68-9 victory vs. Hawaii Rainbow Warriors; South division is resulting in many fan biting of fingernails due to three-way tie! Stanford Cardinal (8-3, #13), top-ranked team in country only few weeks ago, is now losing third game in row, this time 35-31 to Oregon Ducks (5-6), now Cardinal can only find playoff path with win vs. USC (8-3, #8) next week; however, UCLA Bruins (8-3, #10) is defeating Golden Bears of Cal 26-15, and could yet make playoffs with victory in final week vs. Fresno State plus USC loss!
TIER 2 PLAYOFF TRACKER

District 1:HARV vs. South Champ
District 2:JMU vs. South Champ
District 3:North Champ
vs. South Champ
District 4:WKU vs. USM
District 5:TLDO vs. South Champ
District 6:North Champ
vs. South Champ
District 7:East Champ vs.
NEES
District 8:WYO vs. South Champ

TIER 2: BIG RED WILL HAVE REVENGE

Genius of Commie Football system is reaching down to Tier 2 level also, where is yet NINE playoff invitations unsent! Excitement of Commie Football system is spreading to many more college football fans, for is 16 teams with true chance to fight for championship!

Following Week 11 game results, is three new teams - Harvard Crimson (8-3, #14), Southern Miss (10-1, #2), and Toledo Rockets (9-2, #5) – winning division to earn Tier 2 playoff appearance.

But is new #1 Top Power rank team, and this is perhaps not surprise if you are close observer of Tier 2. Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (10-1) is now flying over Southern Miss like intercontinental ballistic missile, to take over #1 Top Power rank position!

Will Hilltoppers make it to top of Tier 2 hill? WKU is yet bitter, like unwashed blood root, and angry, like bear drinking vodka, over loss in 2014 Tier 2 Championship game! Subsequent to this, is SNUB when is time to promote teams to Tier 1 level for new season. Best revenge is winning Tier 2 Championship!

Week Two: Fear & Confusion!

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putin-confusedIn early weeks of new American college football season, many fan is visiting Commie Football website and seeing surprise upset defeat of strong team by seeming weak team. Is causing fear and confusion. Why is this result? Is part because strong team (such as defending champion Ohio State Buckeyes) is yet experiencing hangover from too much celebratory shampanskoye and is playing sloppy football in early games of new season. But is also part because Commie Football supercomputer is penalizing strong team who is scheduling weak, cupcake opponent from different Tier for automatic win!

MISS_2015

In celebration of Week Two 43-37 victory over hated rival, Crimson Tide of Alabama, Ole Miss is making official, permanent change from dark blue to light blue helmet color, which is reminding of beautiful reflection of Siberian sky in still waters of Lake Baikal.

You are seeing this happen in Week Two of Commie Football season, when seeming strong team such as Oregon Ducks is falling like Berlin in 1945 to weak Washington State Cougars, by score 36-29! Auburn Tigers is also losing to weak Bulls of South Florida, by score 31-28! Once mighty Louisville Cardinals is losing to seeming weak Red Wolves of Arkansas State (who is ironic having strongest nickname in college football), by score 28-15! Weak American military preparatory school Army Black Knights is somehow finding strength to defeat District 1 bully Boston College Eagles by low score of 14-8!

Is Soviet supercomputer technology broken? Nyet, comrade. Many game scores is meeting fan expectation, with few surprise twist!

In Commie Football, superior organization and schedule matrix is making for more difficult journey to championship glory for all teams. Only true strongest team is able to conquer 12 regular season plus four playoff games without losing at least one game. After only two weeks of new season, is only 25 of 96 teams on Tier 1 level yet unbeaten! In NCAA, is seeming every FBS team “unbeaten” with two or three cupcake opponent in fat, pig stomach!

So I’m helping Georgy run his score calculations, and he goes, “What is this?” and mutters something in Russian (first I’ve heard him speak in days, btw). Then he says “Yale Bulldogs is losing in both week one and week two, first to Central Arkansas, then to Ivy League rival Brown.” What can I say, man? First off – I’m not there to help out, so those losses aren’t mine. Second – I can’t help it if Yale gets penalized for scheduling Cornell and Colgate (“Tier 3″ teams, according to Georgy). I mean, Harvard scheduled Rhode Island, so it’s not like they’re booking top-flight non-Ivy competition, you know? Season’s still young, dude – nobody’s panicking!

I guess Harvard is like, totally crushing Yale in the Commie Football standings so far. You’d think I’d brag about it more – you know, higher U.S. News & World Report ranking, higher average ACT/SAT/AP scores for incoming freshmen, higher Commie Football ranking – I mean, Harvard’s pretty much better than Yale in all measurable statistical categories, right? Thing is, I’m still a little bit hurt about begin expelled, so I’m having some mixed feelings right now about The Yard. I mean, in some ways I still bleed Crimson. Then again… don’t we all? Ha! Get it, because technically we all have red blood? OMG. Anyway – the other reason I don’t want to brag too much is because I’m afraid Kyle might beat me senseless.

Here is few other interesting Week 2 game results:

  • Ohio 18 vs. Ohio State 26
  • Indiana 20 vs. Michigan State 53
  • TCU 54 vs. Tulsa 37
  • Baylor 79 vs. Texas State 33
  • Illinois 18 vs. Notre Dame 39
  • Georgia 52 vs. South Carolina 20
  • Louisiana Tech 27 vs. LSU 42
  • San Diego State 18 vs. UCLA 46
  • Florida 7 vs. Florida State 12
  • Oklahoma 33 vs. Oklahoma State 54

WHERE IS TOP POWER RANKING?

Top Power ranking is to return following Week Three games. Only fool is revealing premature power ranking early in season, using inadequate data! Three games is minimum requirement of Commie Football supercomputer to have adequate data for proper calculation.

To demonstrate how ranking with limited data is making no sense, supercomputer is placing Washington Huskies as #1 team after Week One. This week, is now Notre Dame Fighting Irish, follow by Georgia, Iowa, West Virginia, UCLA, Northwestern, Washington, Mizzou, Florida State, and Rutgers.

There, you are now reading premature top 10 teams! You are happy? Nyet, you are more confused!

WHERE IS TIER 2?

Rich, lazy Ivy League is finally playing football games like rest of nation, so Tier 2 standings and scoreboard is now complete. On Tier 2 level, is only 30 of 96 teams yet unbeaten.

Here is few interesting game results:

  • Bowling Green 55 vs. Eastern Michigan 19
  • Alabama A&M 25 vs. Western Kentucky 75
  • Alabama State 11 vs. Jacksonville State 41
  • Buffalo 22 vs. Toledo 38
  • Central Michigan 42 vs. Western Michigan 24
  • Georgia Southern 46 vs. Mercer 13
  • Grambling 24 vs. Louisiana-Monroe 19
  • Harvard 30 vs. New Hampshire 10
  • Idaho 36 vs. Montana 29
  • New Mexico 22 vs. New Mexico State 56
  • North Dakota State 25 vs. South Dakota State 35

Tier 2 Top Power ranking is also premature, but #1 rank is held at this time by Bowling Green Falcons, who is perhaps having something to prove following Tier 2 relegation in off-season. Behind BGSU is Stony Brook, William & Mary, San Jose State, James Madison, Toledo, Georgia Southern, Princeton, FIU, and UMass.

There, you are now seeing premature Top 10 rankings from Tier 2! This information is confidential. Please, no distribution. Many men is gladly dying to protect.