Tier 2 Playoffs: Eagle Is Not Swimming Bird

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Green Wave Hits Statesboro!

Here is recent photo showing town of Statesboro, home to University of Georgia Southern, in American Georgia SSR. Damage to town is because of giant GREEN WAVE OF TULANE!

In former United States, eagle is most important animal. Da, is very large bird. Da, is beautiful to sight. But many Americans think this is superior, most powerful creature. But American eagle is having one critical weakness – this bird is unable to swim in water!

Georgia Southern (12-2, #2 Top Power rank) is learning this difficult lesson, in Tier 2/Round 2 playoff game, drowning in 34-27 defeat to avantyura Green Wave of Tulane!

In next Round 3, is yet another Eagle come to fight dangerous water of Tulane Green Wave! But this time, opponent is #1 Top Power rank Southern Miss Eagles!

But that is next week. Behold! ROUND 2 results of 2015 Tier 2 playoffs:

r2-t2-1v8Game: Tier 2 Quarterfinal
Location: Hattiesburg, Mississippi SSR
Final Score: Southern Miss 63, South Dakota State 33
Notes: Little South Dakota State (9-5, #16) is display much vigor, but is no match for #1-rank offense of Eagles. Southern Miss is swooping down from sky, like MiG fighter jet, grabbing Jackrabbits of South Dakota State with strong claws, like iron, then lifting high into sky, then dropping from great height to cold, hard earth. Then USM is again swooping and lifting, to again drop to ground from high in sky, until Jackrabbits is dead. Then USM is feasting. Then perhaps removing pelt for warmth in cold, Siberian winter. Eagles is next facing Green Wave of Tulane (of District 7) in rematch of Week Eleven. Will Southern Miss again prevail? Or this time, will Green Wave drown Eagle?

r2-t2-2v7

Game: Tier 2 Quarterfinal
Location: Statesboro, American Georgia SSR
Final Score: Tulane 34, Georgia Southern 27
Notes: For second season consecutive, Georgia Southern Eagles (12-2, #2) is entering Round 2 of Tier 2 playoffs ranked #2 Top Power, playing on home field against opponent with weaker offense and defense rank! But for second season, is visitor team claiming upset victory! Da, 9-4 season record is not impressive, but Tulane is also District champion for two seasons consecutive! Playing in playoff game is familiar experience, like eating small bowl of mama homemade pokhlebka. But will Green Wave be enough water to drown Eagles of Southern Miss (of District 4) dead like Eagles of Georgia Southern (who is yet #2 Top Power rank, despite loss)?

r2-t2-3v6

Game: Tier 2 Quarterfinal
Location: Toledo, Ohio SSR
Final Score: Toledo 40, Villanova 18
Notes: Villanova (10-4, #9) is having #4-rank defense, but is not enough to prevent #19 offense of Toledo to always hit target in end zone with barrage of rockets. Can Rockets again fly high like Yuri Gagarin, and make true promise of glory from early in season? Is only one way to find out – Soviet supercomputer is deciding. Rockets is next facing Spartans of San Jose State (of District 8) in semifinal Round 3.

r2-t2-4v5

Game: Tier 2 Quarterfinal
Location: San Jose, California SSR
Final Score: San Jose State 48, James Madison 33
Notes: Both teams is possessing top-ten offenses, and both is spending many weeks of regular season in top ten of Top Power rankings.  But is only ticket for one team to Round 3 of Tier 2 playoffs. Perhaps due to advantage of home stadion, San Jose State is putting up many points on weak JMU defense (#57 rank). Spartans is next playing similar blue-and-yellow team, with weaker offense, but stronger defense. Can Spartan, fighting with only sword and shield, protect self from Toledo Rockets (of District 5) attack? Round 3 of playoffs is deciding.

ROUND 3 OF PLAYOFFS IS FINAL 4!

Here is schedule for Round 3 semifinals of Tier 2 playoffs:

  • (1) Southern Miss (13-1, #1) vs.
    (7) Tulane (10-4, #8)
  • (3) Toledo (12-2, #3) vs.
    (4) San Jose State (12-2, #4)

Is good semifinal schedule. Is shame #2 seed Georgia Southern Eagles is drowning in loss. But do not feel sad. Many Tier 2 teams is possible for promotion to Tier 1 next season, even if losing in playoffs. Is also possible for champion team, like 2013 North Texas Mean Green, to not qualify for promotion, if fans is not mandatory attending football game in sufficient numbers.

Tier 2 Playoffs: Big Red Pool of Blood!

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In District 4 Championship game, #2-rank Southern Miss Eagles is defeating #1-rank Western Kentucky 44-40. Is second time USM is defeating WKU this season.

In District 4 Championship game, #2-rank Southern Miss Eagles is defeating #1-rank Western Kentucky 44-40. Is second time USM is defeating WKU this season!

EAGLE IS REACHING HIGHER ALTITUDE THAN HILLTOP

Most exciting of all Commie Football Round 1 playoff games is perhaps Tier 2/District 4 Championship, where #1 Top Power rank Western Kentucky Hilltoppers – the team almost winning Tier 2 championship last season, then receiving snub instead of promotion to Tier 1 level during offseason – is on KGB mission for all 2015 season to destroy each opponent on path to championship glory! Is destiny, da?

But is one bump in road – loss to Southern Miss Eagles in Week 6 is preventing perfect season. Now look at this – Eagles is finishing regular season also with 11-1 record, and is now Top Power #2 rank. And this is opponent who WKU is meeting again, to make REVENGE this time, in Tier 2/District 4 Championship game!

But in this game, which many fan is considering to be true championship of entire Tier 2 level, it is Southern Miss Eagles (12-1, #1) defeating Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (11-2, #3) by score 44-40, to prove to world who is true, new czar of Tier 2 college football!

At least for one week. World shall see how Southern Miss is performing in Round 2 of playoffs (see schedule and entire scoreboard here). In meanwhile…

Here is results of ROUND 1 of 2015 Tier 2 playoffs:

District: 1
Location: Villanova, Pennsylvania SSR
Final Score: Villanova 33, Harvard 17
Notes: Both teams is possessing ferocious defense, and Harvard is displaying brains and brawn both when reaching #1 rank for three weeks during regular season. Yet it is Villanova who is ultimate winner of District 1 title (win is avenging loss to UMass last season). Harvard is maybe taking football lesson from weakling Bobby! Wildcat #3-rank defense is primary source of hope in Round 2 vs. powerful Toledo Rockets (of T2/District 5).

 

District: 2
Location: Harrisonburg, Virginia SSR
Final Score: James Madison 38, North Carolina A&T 20
Notes: With superiority on both sides of football, James Madison is defeating Aggies to claim crown of T2/District 2. NCAT is never reaching to top ten Top Power ranking, despite many wins in difficult season schedule. In end, good NCAT defense (#17 rank) is unable to contain more-good JMU #10-rank offense. But now Dukes is next playing powerful San Jose State (from T2/District 8 on other side of continent) in Round 2.

 

District: 3
Location: Statesboro, GA
Final Score: Georgia Southern 42, South Carolina State 6
Notes: Georgia Southern is winning second District 3 title consecutive, in destruction of SCSU, who is unprepared like Poland in year 1939. Eagles is possessing perhaps greatest balance of offense (#7) and defense (#2) on Tier 2 level, and is playing most of season with top ten Top Power ranking. Is too much for good, but less, #13-rank defense of Bulldogs. Only loss for GSU this season is Week 7 to strong FAU (9-3, #16). Is GSU perhaps thinking already about Southern Miss? Is best to concentrate first on Round 2 opponent, Tulane Green Wave (of T2/District 7)!

 

District: 4
Location: Hattiesburg, Mississippi SSR
Final Score: Southern Miss 44, Western Kentucky 40
Notes: Why is Southern Miss entering game as lower #2 rank, when is already defeating WKU in Week Six, and spending two weeks in middle of season as #1 rank? Is due to complex algorithm of Soviet supercomputer, which is perhaps penalizing USM for Week One loss to eventual weakling Eastern Washington (2-10). This disrespect, even from machine, is fueling Eagles #1-rank offense to victory, now screaming like MiG fighter jet again to #1 Top Power rank, before Round 2 game vs. Jackrabbits of South Dakota State (of T2/District 6).

 

District: 5
Location: Toledo, Ohio SSR
Final Score: Toledo 33, Akron 21
Notes: Rockets is continue impressive season, climbing entire distance to #1 Top Power rank after Week Eight, only to burn in atmosphere like Mir space station in Week Nine 78-19 decimation by archrival Bowling Green. In meantime, Akron is stumbling into playoffs from weak South division on four-game win streak, like drunken gambler, but Zips is never making even to top 25 in Top Power ranking entire season! Steady Toledo Rockets attack is defeating jumping Zips, who is saying always “Fear the Roo” but nobody in world is fearing! Is silly kangaroo! Toledo is facing Villanova Wildcats (of T2/District 1) in Round 2 of playoffs.

 

District: 6
Location: Carbondale, Illinois SSR
Final Score: South Dakota State 44, Southern Illinois 38
Notes: In shock upset, #7-defense of Jackrabbits is slowing down #9-offense of Salukis for victory by small margin. SIU is old power, returning to Tier 2 playoffs for first time since 2012, always ranking high in Top Power during this season, but South Dakota State is hopping quiet through tall prairie grass during season, only to wait for sudden ambush of resting dog in district championship game! But will this ambush strategy work in fight vs. high-flying, #1 rank Southern Miss Eagles (of T2/District 4) in Round 2, next week?

 

District: 7
Location: Lake Charles, Louisiana SSR
Final Score: Tulane 62, McNeese State 22
Notes: With 11-1 record and already defeating in Week Five, McNeese is perhaps thinking Green Wave is easy opponent. But in perhaps most surprise upset game during first round, #13-offense of Tulane is bringing shame to #6-defense of McNeese, placing 62 points on scoreboard! Because of weak, last-place schedule (due to bad 2014 season), Cowboys is taking easy path to playoffs, while Tulane – making third appearance, consecutive in playoffs (and each year in different District due to realignment!) – is fighting way through most difficult schedule on Tier 2 level to AGAIN advance to Round 2! But is bad luck that opponent this year is powerful Georgia Southern Eagles (of T2/District 3).

 

District: 8
Location: San Jose, California SSR
Final Score: San Jose State 36, Wyoming 23
Notes: Wyoming is example of team reaching peak performance too soon in season, but is then losing 3 of final 4 games, to include District 8 Championship to San Jose State, who is using #5 offense to overwhelm soft Cowboys defense, like hot bayonet in warm maslo. SJSU is next to meet James Madison (naming for former leader of ancient American regime, from Tier 2/District) in Round 2 of Tier 2 playoffs. This is many twos.

Georgy’s letting me write my report from the interrogation chamber. I have no clue how many days we’ve been “accidentally locked” in here, but I’m bored as hell, Kyle’s asleep like, 18 hours a day, and the bathroom situation is getting WAAAAY, way gross in here.
Hey. It’s Bobby again. All Kyle’s doing right now is like, snoring and sort of… I dunno… twitching? Every few minutes. And always drooling. So much. It’s like, running down the drain in the floor in the center of the cell.

PREPARE FOR ROUND 2 OF TIER 2 PLAYOFFS

Here is schedule for Tier 2/Round 2 playoffs:

  • (1) Southern Miss (12-1, #1) vs.
    (8) South Dakota State (9-4, #16)
  • (2) Georgia Southern (12-1, #2) vs.
    (7) Tulane (9-4, #10)
  • (3) Toledo (11-2, #4) vs.
    (6) Villanova (10-3, #8)
  • (4) San Jose State (11-2, #5) vs.
    (5) James Madison (11-2, #6)

Look at this schedule. Then, wipe drool from mouth.

I am telling this, always, to Bobby, because Intern Kyle is having disgusting drool running like water from mouth, when sleeping. I am hoping to find passcode to unlock interrogation chamber in few days. More priority is routine-but-critical maintenance necessary on plumbing system, attached to cooling mechanism inside supercomputer. Is taking one person… three or four days, maximum, to fix.

Never Forget, Is Also Tier 2 Playoffs!

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With 52-37 upset victory over unbeaten Western Michigan in first round of Tier 2 playoffs, Western Kentucky is finally avenging disrespect of mascot Big Red.

With 52-37 upset victory over unbeaten Western Michigan in first round of Tier 2 playoffs, Western Kentucky is finally avenging disrespect of mascot Big Red.

IS INCLUDE MANY EMOTION, LIKE THRILL OF VICTORY, GRIEF OF DEFEAT, AND REVENGE OF OLD FEUD

Is also very exciting American college football playoff games on Tier 2 level. Only difference from Tier 1 playoffs is this: Round 1 (District Championship) game is playing at home stadium of team with better record. Some is liking this better than travel to glamorous location, such as Aloha Bowl in Hawaii SSR.

But many is asking if Commie Football season is too long. I am hearing every day in whining American accent (okay, is Intern Bobby), “But when’s it going to be oooo-ver? And what about the student-ATHletes? You know, STOODENT-athletes? Like, when do they have time to go to CLASS even?”

Is stupid questions. In Commie Football, only 16 of 96 teams is making playoffs on each Tier. So instead of play in meaningless bowl game in Florida SSR or Bahamas SSR, most student-athletes is returning to old pile of hay in university dormitory, sharing sliced, raw skin of potato, and watching playoff games on small communal television.

Here is results of ROUND 1 of 2014 Tier 2 playoffs:

r1-t2-d1District: 1
Location: Amherst, MA
Final Score: UMass 47, Villanova 23
Notes: Embarrassing Week 12 loss to Brown is waking up UMass, who is then pummeling Wildcats of Villanova to win District 1 Championship. Is showing good balance this season of offense and defense, but is maybe flying under radar in weak District? Minutemen is next facing tough Georgia Southern in Round 2 of playoffs.

r1-t2-d2 District: 2
Location: Boone, NC
Final Score: Appalachian State 33, Richmond 25
Notes: Appalachian State is returning to winning ways this season, beating Spiders of Richmond for second time in four weeks to claim District 2 crown. Mountaineers look only so-so with offense and defense statistics, while Spiders is mere stumbling into playoffs from weak division. Since consecutive losses to New Mexico Lobos (Week 4) and weak Liberty Flames (Week 5), Mountaineers is winning eight games consecutive, and is facing dangerous Texas State Bobcats in Round 2.

r1-t2-d3 District: 3
Location: Statesboro, GA
Final Score: Georgia Southern 44, Coastal Carolina 25
Notes: High-power offense of Georgia Southern is carrying team to victory against mediocre Chanticleers of Coastal Carolina, who is ending season with three-game losing streak and not even in Top Power 25. Eagles is suffering only one loss in Week 11 to Appalachian State, and is carrying strong momentum to battle UMass in Round 2 of playoffs.

r1-t2-d4 District: 4
Location: Homewood, AL
Final Score: Tulane 41, Samford 18
Notes: Last season, Tulane Green Wave is losing close District 6 Championship game to North Dakota State. This season, team is playing good-enough defense to survive difficult schedule and sneak into playoffs, unranked. Surprise Samford is climbing as high as #3 Top Power rank while opening season 9-0, but is beating many weak teams and eventual losing to Troy (Week 10) and Chattanooga (Week 12), so maybe Bulldogs is not possessing critical skills for playoff competition. Green Wave is making playoff victory look easy, even in visitor stadium. But will not be so easy in Round 2 vs. top-ranked Colorado State.

r1-t2-d5 District: 5
Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Final Score: Western Kentucky 52, Western Michigan 37
Notes: All America is yet trying to understand upset of top-ranked, unbeaten Western Michigan! Hilltoppers of WKU is demonstrating angry explosion of #1-rank offense, now winning every game since intense 31-29 loss to WMU (Week 5), and also avenging famous incident involving brutal attack at WKU mascot Big Red. For Broncos, is sudden, disappointing end to exciting season. Sad WMU fans is now turning hope to promotion to Tier 1 for 2015 season. But for WKU fans, dream of championship glory is to continue next week in Round 2 playoff game vs. Illinois State.

r1-t2-d6 District: 6
Location: Normal, IL
Final Score: Illinois State 41, Northern Iowa 21
Notes: Illinois State is rising from obscure corner of Tier 2 this season to slowly climb Top Power 25 ranking, and eventual win strong-like-cold-steel District 6 with #1-rank overall defense. Northern Iowa is also enjoying surprise playoff run, winning division over perennial power North Dakota State, but Panthers offense is no match for ISU. Road for Redbirds is becoming more difficult in Round 2 vs. Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky – when #1 offense is meeting #1 defense in battle for all ages!

r1-t2-d7 District: 7
Location: San Marcos, TX
Final Score: Texas State 60, Stephen F. Austin 22
Notes: Texas State is emerging from three-team dogfight with UTEP and New Mexico Lobos to claim West division title, and also slaying other Texas SSR school, Stephen F. Austin two times this season. SFA is like little brother wanting to enter hard drug trade to idolize older brother, but is instead being beaten by #2 offense of older brother for own good, as strange show of love. And yet, proud Lumberjacks is accomplish rare feat this season – starting as #12 seed in District to make to championship game. Bobcats is climbing as high as #2 Top Power rank this season, losing only to tough Lobos and Louisiana-Monroe, and is facing Appalachian State in Round 2 of playoffs.

r1-t2-d8District: 8
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Final Score: Colorado State 39, UNLV 29
Notes: Colorado State, in resplendid orange-and-green uniform of old times, is playing like team on critical KGB mission. Last season, Rams is sneaking into Tier 2 playoffs, surprise winning District title over UNLV, surprise upsetting top-seed North Dakota State, and almost surprise beating eventual champion North Texas in Final Four game. This season, is different – Rams is now #1 Top Power rank after repeat beating of UNLV in District 8 Championship. CSU is having very good offense and defense, and playing very difficult schedule, taking down UNLV Rebel team that is even better than last season. CSU will now face lowest-seed Tulane in Round 2 of playoffs. What if history is repeating from last year, only with CSU losing to lowest-seed team? This is irony, da?

Intern Bobby is saying...Blegh. So I’ve been like, *super* groggy and out-of-it ever since Georgy put me to sleep in that hyperbolic chamber thing. I don’t even know how many days I was in there, but it was definitely more than two. AND I’m missing a front tooth! But, Georgy showed me the surveillance tape and it was definitely my own klutzy fault. I told Georgy to erase it, but he’s all like, “Nyet, I will enter into American Funny Home Video competition on television.” I don’t know. It’d kind of be cool to be famous, I guess.

PREPARE FOR ROUND TWO OF PLAYOFFS

Here is schedule for Tier 2/Round 2 playoffs:

  • (1) Colorado State (12-1, #1) vs.
    (8) Tulane (8-5, #20)
  • (2) Georgia Southern (12-1, #2) vs.
    (7) UMass (10-3, #8)
  • (3) Texas State (11-2, #4) vs.
    (6) Appalachian State (11-2, #7)
  • (4) Western Kentucky (11-2, #5) vs.
    (5) Illinois State (11-2, #6)

Look at this schedule. Then, wipe drool from mouth. I am saying this to Intern Bobby often, due to missing tooth and always-running, disgusting drool from mouth.