Ded Moroz is Coming to Town

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Here is chamber where Intern Kyle is staying until interrogation is complete.

Here is chamber where Intern Kyle is staying until interrogation is complete. Bobby is wanting to decorate, so I am allowing wooden statue of Ded Moroz to stand as funny “guard” of prison. But Bobby is placing too close, and Kyle is taking wooden scepter of statue and picking lock to escape.

Is Orthodox Christmas day. As gift, I am waking Intern Kyle from deep hyperbaric sleep and giving opportunity to complete test of loyalty, to defend self against suspicion as secret double-agent.

WAKING

Was very difficult to wake and remove Intern Kyle from hyperbaric sleep chamber. Bobby is making accident and giving too much dose of pure oxygen, including also unique mixture of chemical gas, of my own invention. Is causing Kyle to sleep for many days more than original plan of one week. I am using Soviet supercomputer to discover new method of waking from deep hyperbaric sleep, but is taking one week, additional time, due to much frustrating, glitching connection to Internet.

Ded Moroz

Here is close photo of Ded Moroz, who is Russian Father of Christmas, wearing blue costume instead of red. Bobby is carving this statue from piece of old firewood as Orthodox Christmas present. Paint is little bit sloppy.

Uuuhggh.  I don’t FEEL goood. Not… sure what’s going on. Or where… am I in Russia… er…? Grwh…– <snores>

During this long wait, Bobby is wanting to decorate interrogation chamber for Orthodox Christmas. I am allowing him to place wooden statue he is carving with bayonet of Ded Moroz, who is Russian Father of Christmas. Is similar to American Santa of Klaus, but is wearing blue costume instead of red.

ESCAPE!

Kyle is waking in interrogation chamber during middle of night, and is then reaching out of prison cell and removing wooden scepter from hand of Ded Moroz statue. Kyle is then picking lock and making escape.

When I am waking in morning, I am finding Kyle in deep sleep inside food chamber, with many frozen loaf of rye breads. Bobby is helping to load sleeping body into tachka, and we are returning Kyle to interrogation chamber, where he is again waking.

THE TEST

Then, I am giving to Kyle important test. I am asking him to name, from own memory, each qualifying playoff team on both Tier 1 and Tier 2 levels for 2015 Commie Football season.

In addition to pass test, Kyle is having to say each team record and Top Power rank, and first round opponent, which is District Championship games.

Here is what Intern Kyle is saying is schedule for Round 1, next week:

TIER 1

  • District 1: Connecticut (8-4, #27) vs. West Virginia (8-4, #21)
  • District 2: Duke (9-3, #14) vs. Clemson (9-3, #13)
  • District 3: Michigan (9-3, #10) vs. Memphis (8-4, #26)
  • District 4: South Florida (10-2, #3) vs. Ole Miss (9-3, #7)
  • District 5: Notre Dame (9-3, #5) vs. Iowa (11-1, #2)
  • District 6: Oklahoma (11-1, #1) vs. Houston (8-4, #23)
  • District 7: Utah (9-3, #12) vs. Air Force (8-4, #29)
  • District 8: Washington (9-3, #9) vs. USC (9-3, #6)

TIER 2

  • District 1: Yale (4-8, #78) vs. Villanova (9-3, #14)
  • District 2: James Madison (10-2, #7) vs. North Carolina A&T (9-3, #12)
  • District 3: South Carolina State (8-4, #27) vs. Georgia Southern (11-1, #3)
  • District 4: Western Kentucky (11-1, #1) vs. Southern Miss (11-1, #2)
  • District 5: Toledo (10-2, #5) vs. Akron (8-4, #28)
  • District 6: South Dakota State (8-4, #26) vs. Southern Illinois (9-3, #15)
  • District 7: Tulane (8-4, #22) vs. McNeese State (11-1, #4)
  • District 8: Wyoming (9-3, #13) vs. San Jose State (10-2, #6)

As you read now, is many intriguing matchups, from every region of country. Is true, best system to determine champion for all fans of American college football.

THE VERDICT

But as you also read, Kyle is making one mistake. He is saying “Yale Bulldogs” as representative of Tier 2/District 1 (North Division). This is incorrect. Is Harvard Crimson (9-3, #9) who is true making to Tier 2/District 1 Championship game!

I am saying to Kyle, “You are still asleep, dreaming.” Then I am marching to chamber door, turning out chamber light, and slamming door shut (which is automatic locking)!

LATER

Then, after many minutes, perhaps one hour, I am realizing that I am accident locking Bobby into chamber with Intern Kyle. But is very late. Is probably okay….

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