Week Six: All of America is Hearing Loud Screeches

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In recognition of Temple Owls flying high to #2 Top Power ranking, city officials is issuing one commemorative flag to every Philadelphia household.

In recognition of Temple Owls progress to #2 Top Power ranking, Philadelphia mayor is issuing commemorative flag to every household in city. Is required by penalty of imprisonment to hang outside door.

WHAT IS THIS SCREECHING SOUND? SHRILL, LIKE FEROCIOUS, SWOOPING BIRD?

Oh, is only unbeaten Temple Owls, who at halfway point of 2014 season is having flown on strong wings to #2 Top Power rank. On Week Six Scoreboard, Temple is defeating Virginia Cavaliers in close game, 30-26.

Here is warning to all teams: OWLS IS HAVING SHARP CLAWS! This is surprise to you? If you are following 2014 Commie Football Schedule, you are seeing that Temple is defeating all decent Tier 1 teams, no cupcakes: South Carolina Gamecocks, Rutgers, Syracuse, Wazzou, Pitt, now Virginia. In world of Commie Football, victories is most important measure of success. Team with best record is higher in Top Power rank than team who is knowing what is like to be called neudachnik by bully friends!

Remainder of schedule is looking in favor of Owls, who is playing many other weak District 1 teams. Can Temple Owls become undefeated #1 rank team? All citizens in city of Philadelphia is holding breath, like submerged top-secret Shchuka nuclear attack submarine.

All of Philadelphia is catching fever of Temple Owls. Here is special bell, which city official is ringing when Temple is making #2 Top Power rank. Is very sad because useless old bell, which is at one-time important symbol of old American regime, is having large crack and is making ugly sound.

All of Philadelphia is catching fever of Temple Owls. Here is special bell, which city official is ringing when Temple is making #2 Top Power rank. Is very sad because useless old bell, which is at one-time important symbol of old American regime, is having large crack and is making ugly sound.

WEEK SIX FOOTBALL GAME HIGHLIGHTS:

  • District 1: Temple is beating Virginia 30-26, da-da-da, is discussed above. But is tie at top of South Division between Penn State (5-1, #16 Top Power) and West Virginia Mountaineers (5-1, #19). Nittany Lions is having edge, due to Week Three victory over WVU.
  • District 2: In battle of surprise first-place Division leaders, is East Carolina Pirates (5-1, #21 Top Power) defeating Kentucky Wildcats (5-1, #18) 28-20 for momentary District supremacy. With loss, Wildcats is now in tie at top of South Division with Georgia Bulldogs (5-1, #11). You can guess who Kentucky is playing in Week Seven, this week?
  • District 3 is also weak District. Leading North Division, unbeaten Notre Dame (6-0, #3 rank) is crushing Kent State Golden Flashes 65-25; Ohio State Buckeyes (5-1, #7) is leading South, following 31-24 lazy win vs. Bowling Green; Louisville (4-2) is trying to keep up, beating Ball State 51-21.
  • District 4: Undefeated Ole Miss (6-0) is holding on to #1 Top Power rank with 33-23 victory over the Gators of Florida; in best game of week, Florida State Seminoles (6-0, #5) is defeating strong Mississippi State (5-1, #12) 31-29; and oh! Look at Auburn (5-1, #14), wrecking own perfect record with stupid 32-21 upset defeat to Arkansas State! (Hmm… something about nickname “Red Wolves” is sounding good to me.)
  • District 5: Golden Gophers of Minnesota (5-1, #20) is standing alone at top of North Division, after brutal 29-8 takedown of defending District champ Mizzou (3-3); Nebraska (4-2) is staking claim in South Division, following 31-20 victory over tough Northwestern (4-2, #23); sharing lead with Cornhuskers is Iowa Hawkeyes (4-2), who is humiliating Northern Illinois 57-18.
  • District 6Arkansas Razorbacks (6-0, #6 rank) is almost as big of surprise as Temple, defeating Texas Longhorns 22-20 to remain unbeaten; Aggies of Texas A&M (6-0, #4) is surviving scare from Louisiana Tech, winning 29-28 but dropping one spot in Top Power rank; Baylor Bears (5-1, #10) is not so lucky, is “blowing it” in 50-41 upset loss to Rice Owls (2-4). Everywhere is dangerous Owls!
  • Everything is big mess in District 7, knocking all teams from Top Power 25! Utah Utes (3-3) is defeating Sooners of Oklahoma (4-2) in 30-29 upset victory; Utah State (4-2) is also winning in 27-21 upset over Oklahoma State Cowboys (4-2); Arizona Wildcats (4-2) is also beating BYU (4-2) 29-26, creating situation where there is three-way tie for first place in both North and South Divisions.
  • District 8: Halfway through season, is incredible eight teams from District 8 with identical 5-1 record and showing up in Top Power 25! Stanford (#8), UCLA (#9), Cal (#13), Beavers of Oregon State (#15), USC (#17), and Washington Huskies (#22). Is going to be ugly bloodbath in coming weeks in this District.

TIER 2: IS NEW SHERIFF IN TEXAS SSR

Forever resplendent in permanent green and orange uniform, Colorado State Rams (6-0) is defeating Cal Poly 49-16 and remaining T2 #1 Top Power team. But who is this at #2? Is Texas State Bobcats (6-0), who like true cat killing prey, is leaping two spots in Top Power rankings after 73-19 annihilation of sad Lamar Cardinals, even leaping over Georgia Southern (6-0, #3), who is winning 45-25 vs. one-time #1 Top Power team Coastal Carolina (4-2). Western Michigan (#4), Yale Bulldogs (#5), Stephen F. Austin (#6), and Samford (#7) is other remaining unbeaten teams in Tier 2.

Speaking of owl, I am of recent shooting such a wild bird that is landing on head of Intern Bobby, with arrow. First shot is not killing, so bird is making many scratches on head and face of Bobby, very much with sharp claws. I am then clubbing this bird with scrap of wood nearby. Wood is having old, rusty nail attached, and this is then stabbing Bobby in shoulder. Is accident. I am making cold compress from nearby forest moss for wound, and giving Bobby rest of day off. Is back to make Tweets, early next morning.

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