Week Nine: Wind is Come, is Sweeping Down Plain

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In tense scene from violent American western film with much singing, "Oklahoma SSR!",

In tense scene from violent American western musical film of Cold War era, “Oklahoma SSR!”, here is moment before climactic fight with guns, when Curley is singing to Laurey song telling legend of “Pistol Pyotr” – while Laurey is loading gun, to vicious shoot Curley in zheludok!

WEIGHT OF BEAR IS TOO HEAVY FOR GREAT TREE

Lone unbeaten team in world of Commie Football, Stanford Cardinal, is falling like Siberian pine tree, losing game finally in Week Nine to District 8 South division rival UCLA Bruins (6-3, #20). This is dropping Stanford (8-1) like old log to #3 Top Power rank, creating empty space for new team to occupy.

Who is new #1 team? Is Sooners of Oklahoma (8-1, #1), who is beating very much TCU Horned Frogs (6-3, #22), by score 51-22. This is creating curious situation in District 6 playoff hunt, where Sooners is now having better Top Power rank, but is stuck like tractor in mud behind Oklahoma State Cowboys (8-1, #2) in North division standings, due to 54-33 OSU victory over OU in Week 2.

Could #1 Top Power rank team in all of American college football be yet disqualify from playoffs?! Da, all is possible in brave, new world of Commie Football!

Sigh. I just adore musicals. Don’t you? Seriously, doesn’t everyone? Deep down inside, I mean? Even if they’re all like, “GRUUUNT. I HATE MUSIC THIS IS STUPID NOBODY JUST STARTS SINGING IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCE DURRH…” -ahem! (direct kyle quote) -ahem! ? All of the Rodgers and Hammerstein productions were like, mega-strong, but who’s fooling who? “The Sound of Music” is WHAT. THE. HILLS. BE. ALIVE. WITH. You heard the woman.  Well, Yale kinda blew it last week with a loss, so my dream of having them come back to win the Tier 2/District 1 title ain’t happening. But math isn’t really Bobby’s thing, so he hasn’t really figured out that Harvard’s definitely gonna finish with a better record. So this week, after the Massholes lost to MAINE of all teams, and Yale totally POUNDED New Hampshire, I was all like, “Hey Bobby! Bulldogs’re COMIN’!” and glare at him, and he’d like, slink away and disappear until he’d either get hungry and come looking for food, or want to use the inside toilet, ‘cuz he’s afraid he’ll see another Yeti creature or whatever, like that one time at the old outdoor latrine from last season’s Commie Football headquarters, or something. Hard to follow all his blabbing.

Here is roundup of Week 9 action in all Districts of Tier 1:

  • District 1: Is tense three-way fight for North division lead! At this time, UConn (6-3, #25 rank) is holding advantage following unusual 12-4 victory vs. Army Black Knights; Temple Owls (6-3, #24) is keep playoff hopes also alive with 55-28 victory over Rutgers Scarlet Knights; Boston College Eagles (6-3) is now having 5-game win streak after 25-20 victory vs. Syracuse; In South, Penn State (6-3) is yet team to beat after 26-23 victory vs. Maryland Terps.
  • Is week of many upsets in District 2: NC State (3-6) is surprise spanking Blue Devils (7-2, #13 rank) like rebenok 45-19, yet Duke is North division leader; Georgia Bulldogs (5-4) is upset beating Clemson (6-3) 20-13, and is now only one game behind in standings; South Carolina Gamecocks (5-4) is defeating Appalachian State (6-3) 32-27 to make playoff race in South division tight, like kazn’ cherez povesheniye!
  • District 3: 2014 champion Ohio State Buckeyes (7-2, #9 rank) is beating Bearcats of Cincinnati 31-22 to hold North division playoff advantage; Is no miracle in Commie Football – Michigan Wolverines (7-2, #5) is defeating Michigan State Spartans (6-3, #19) 44-27; In South, Memphis Tigers (6-3, #23) is beating Thundering Herd of Marshall 37-28 to hold 2-game lead.
  • District 4: Mysterious East division leader USF Bulls (7-2, #12 rank) is ugly winning 15-13 over Florida Gators; In big West division clash, is Ole Miss (7-2, #8) defeating LSU (6-3) 41-34 for much drinking of Hotty Toddy; Alabama (6-3, #18) is only one game behind in West standings after 36-13 victory vs. Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns, but Crimson Tide is losing to Rebels in Week 2.
  • District 5: Notre Dame (7-2, #6 rank) is maintaining North division lead after 35-22 victory vs. Golden Gophers of Minnesota; Wisconsin Badgers (6-3, #16) is only one game behind after important 26-23 victory vs. Northwestern; In West, Iowa Hawkeyes (8-1, #4) is sneaking by Cornhuskers of Nebraska 37-33 to now take two-game lead.
  • District 6: Big 51-41 shootout victory vs. Arkansas Razorbacks is not enough to lift Oklahoma State (8-1, #2 rank) to #1 Top Power ranking; Designation is going instead to rival Sooners of Oklahoma (8-1, #1), who is bad beating TCU Horned Frogs (6-3, #22) 51-22; Houston Cougars (7-2, #10) is defeating Texas A&M 30-20 to create two-game lead in South division playoff race.
  • District 7: Boise State Broncos (6-3, #14 rank) is defeating Utah State 31-14 to remain in lead of North division, due to Week 3 victory over Utah Utes; But Utah Utes (6-3) is winning Holy War rival game vs. BYU 33-15 to remain close in playoff hunt; Surprise Air Force Falcons (6-3) is holding two-game lead in weak South division after 29-16 victory vs. Arizona Wildcats.
  • District 8: Washington Huskies (7-2, #11 rank) is beating Cal Golden Bears (6-3) 34-31 for retaking of North division lead; UCLA Bruins (6-3, #20) is ruining perfect season of Stanford Cardinal (8-1, #3 rank) in 26-21 upset victory; But is USC (7-2, #7) who is closest to catching Stanford in South division after Trojans beat Aztecs of San Diego State 32-27.

SOUTHERN MISS TO THE TOP (OF TIER 2)!

USMOld American expression “Holy Toledo” is what many fan is shouting when reading frightening 78-19 losing score for previous #1 Top Rank Toledo Rockets (7-2, now #9 rank) in Week Nine loss to archrival Bowling Green Falcons (6-3, #17), who is showing no mercy in pursuit of glorious Battle of I-75 Trophy. New #1 Top Power team on Tier 2 level is Southern Miss Eagles (8-1), who is beating Jacksonville State 30-18 to maintain lead in T2/District 4 South playoff hunt. Rest of top five rank teams is Western Kentucky (#2), Georgia Southern (#3), Wyoming Cowboys (#4), and James Madison (#5).

WYOSpeaking of cowboys, pozdravleniya to Wyoming Cowboys (8-1, #4 rank), who is first team from either Tier 1 or Tier 2 level to claim ticket to playoff game. With 28-17 victory of Montana Grizzlies, Cowboys is clinching title in weak T2/District 8 North division.

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