Week One: You Are Hearing Large Boom?

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2015 Commie Football season is beginning

CUPCAKES FOR LAZY AMERICANS

Is peculiar tradition of NCAA college football, where strong team is playing weak, cupcake opponent in first game (or three) of season. Cupcake team is receiving many dollars to endure brutal beating in front of hostile crowd, who is drooling like rabid wolf and becoming frenzy as scoreboard is climbing to ludicrous score! Fans is then driving home to American suburb house very happy, stuffing face with Big Mac hamburger, thinking favorite team is certain to enjoy undefeated championship season!

So, you know how it’s like, the time of changing seasons? College football season starting… the short Russian summer turning into brutally cold Russian fall? The new intern from Yale coming in and messing up my flow? Anyway – speaking of seasons – we finally made it through all 10 seasons of “Friends” and I thought it was even better the third time around! You just catch so many more details, you know? And Georgy absolutely got waaay into it. After it was done, he was like “Let us watch continuing story of Josef Tribbiani” and I was like YESSSSS and so we did. All 46 episodes. Didn’t sleep for days.  I’m just gonna say it – that show totally did NOT get the respect it deserves!It took longer than expected to rebuild the satellite feed equipment, but that wasn’t my fault. I had found a sweet set of tools in one of the supply chambers and was all ready to work. Then Georgy says he wants me to hold off until we finish the final two seasons of “Friends.” He goes something like, “We must find how beautiful love story of Ross and Rashel is ending.” Spoiler alert. They live happily ever after. So when it’s finally over, it takes like, 10 minutes for me to fix the feeds and monitors. What’s the first thing Georgy wants to do, now that we have restored satellite communications? I hear Bobby over there whining and whispering in Georgy’s ear, and G suddenly goes “We must find out ultimate fate to story of Josef Tribbiani.” I don’t know, bro – I’m really starting to wonder about this internship.

In Commie Football, is very different. Innovative schedule formula is making top Tier 1 teams from previous 2014 season play other strong teams in Week One. Cupcake game against true weakling opponent is impossible! Every subsequent week is important, difficult battle. Only true strongest team is winning Division, then District, then three more playoff games against top opponents, to win championship.

Only cupcake is at ceremonial meal following championship game. Is customary reward for head coach of winning team to eat (if there is available sugar).

Ohio State Buckeyes is 2014 champion. No team in history is ever making repeat champion of Commie Football! Who will be 2015 season champion? You are feeling excitement?

Here is highlight scores of top games on Week One Schedule, pitting best teams from previous 2014 season:

  • Florida State 30 vs. USC 28
  • Ole Miss 54 vs. Oregon 22
  • Penn State 13 vs. TCU 29
  • East Carolina 15 vs. Ohio State 38
  • Georgia 34 vs. Michigan State 22
  • Arizona State 16 vs. Notre Dame 38
  • Mississippi State 14 vs. Stanford 23
  • Baylor 30 vs. West Virginia 32
  • Clemson 33 vs. Louisville 21
  • Arkansas 22 vs. Temple 27

Some results is surprise to you? You must remember – complex Soviet supercomputer algorithm is penalizing teams who is scheduling cupcake game! When Michigan State is having much struggle against weak Western Michigan (who is good Tier 2 team in Commie Football), algorithm is utilizing information as mathematical factor. When high-power Baylor Bears is allowing many points to tiny, who-is-this, Tier 2-level Lamar Cardinals, Soviet algorithm is punishing Bears.

You are finding complete Week One scoreboard at this link. Da, okay… so in truth, is not quite complete scoreboard.

WHY IS NOT QUITE COMPLETE SCOREBOARD?

Soviet supercomputer algorithm is requiring proper data to make accurate calculation. Is few teams on Tier 2 level – all from lazy Ivy League (home of Intern Kyle and former intern, now “member of staff” Bobby, who is especially lazy) – who is not playing football games yet in 2015 NCAA season. Is impossible for Soviet supercomputer then to crunch these data. Once every team is playing game, then supercomputer is having proper data and all Commie Football game scores is being calculated. You must be patient, like famous Soviet sharpshooter Vasily Zaytsev.

WHERE IS NEW TOP POWER RANKING?

Only idiot is making ranking of strongest teams following first game of new season! As example, is Huskies of Washington who is #1 Top Power rank after Week One results. Data is yet imperfect. Soviet supercomputer will begin making true Top Power calculation, to begin after Week Three of PUACF season.

Never Forget, Is Also Tier 2 Playoffs!

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With 52-37 upset victory over unbeaten Western Michigan in first round of Tier 2 playoffs, Western Kentucky is finally avenging disrespect of mascot Big Red.

With 52-37 upset victory over unbeaten Western Michigan in first round of Tier 2 playoffs, Western Kentucky is finally avenging disrespect of mascot Big Red.

IS INCLUDE MANY EMOTION, LIKE THRILL OF VICTORY, GRIEF OF DEFEAT, AND REVENGE OF OLD FEUD

Is also very exciting American college football playoff games on Tier 2 level. Only difference from Tier 1 playoffs is this: Round 1 (District Championship) game is playing at home stadium of team with better record. Some is liking this better than travel to glamorous location, such as Aloha Bowl in Hawaii SSR.

But many is asking if Commie Football season is too long. I am hearing every day in whining American accent (okay, is Intern Bobby), “But when’s it going to be oooo-ver? And what about the student-ATHletes? You know, STOODENT-athletes? Like, when do they have time to go to CLASS even?”

Is stupid questions. In Commie Football, only 16 of 96 teams is making playoffs on each Tier. So instead of play in meaningless bowl game in Florida SSR or Bahamas SSR, most student-athletes is returning to old pile of hay in university dormitory, sharing sliced, raw skin of potato, and watching playoff games on small communal television.

Here is results of ROUND 1 of 2014 Tier 2 playoffs:

r1-t2-d1District: 1
Location: Amherst, MA
Final Score: UMass 47, Villanova 23
Notes: Embarrassing Week 12 loss to Brown is waking up UMass, who is then pummeling Wildcats of Villanova to win District 1 Championship. Is showing good balance this season of offense and defense, but is maybe flying under radar in weak District? Minutemen is next facing tough Georgia Southern in Round 2 of playoffs.

r1-t2-d2 District: 2
Location: Boone, NC
Final Score: Appalachian State 33, Richmond 25
Notes: Appalachian State is returning to winning ways this season, beating Spiders of Richmond for second time in four weeks to claim District 2 crown. Mountaineers look only so-so with offense and defense statistics, while Spiders is mere stumbling into playoffs from weak division. Since consecutive losses to New Mexico Lobos (Week 4) and weak Liberty Flames (Week 5), Mountaineers is winning eight games consecutive, and is facing dangerous Texas State Bobcats in Round 2.

r1-t2-d3 District: 3
Location: Statesboro, GA
Final Score: Georgia Southern 44, Coastal Carolina 25
Notes: High-power offense of Georgia Southern is carrying team to victory against mediocre Chanticleers of Coastal Carolina, who is ending season with three-game losing streak and not even in Top Power 25. Eagles is suffering only one loss in Week 11 to Appalachian State, and is carrying strong momentum to battle UMass in Round 2 of playoffs.

r1-t2-d4 District: 4
Location: Homewood, AL
Final Score: Tulane 41, Samford 18
Notes: Last season, Tulane Green Wave is losing close District 6 Championship game to North Dakota State. This season, team is playing good-enough defense to survive difficult schedule and sneak into playoffs, unranked. Surprise Samford is climbing as high as #3 Top Power rank while opening season 9-0, but is beating many weak teams and eventual losing to Troy (Week 10) and Chattanooga (Week 12), so maybe Bulldogs is not possessing critical skills for playoff competition. Green Wave is making playoff victory look easy, even in visitor stadium. But will not be so easy in Round 2 vs. top-ranked Colorado State.

r1-t2-d5 District: 5
Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Final Score: Western Kentucky 52, Western Michigan 37
Notes: All America is yet trying to understand upset of top-ranked, unbeaten Western Michigan! Hilltoppers of WKU is demonstrating angry explosion of #1-rank offense, now winning every game since intense 31-29 loss to WMU (Week 5), and also avenging famous incident involving brutal attack at WKU mascot Big Red. For Broncos, is sudden, disappointing end to exciting season. Sad WMU fans is now turning hope to promotion to Tier 1 for 2015 season. But for WKU fans, dream of championship glory is to continue next week in Round 2 playoff game vs. Illinois State.

r1-t2-d6 District: 6
Location: Normal, IL
Final Score: Illinois State 41, Northern Iowa 21
Notes: Illinois State is rising from obscure corner of Tier 2 this season to slowly climb Top Power 25 ranking, and eventual win strong-like-cold-steel District 6 with #1-rank overall defense. Northern Iowa is also enjoying surprise playoff run, winning division over perennial power North Dakota State, but Panthers offense is no match for ISU. Road for Redbirds is becoming more difficult in Round 2 vs. Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky – when #1 offense is meeting #1 defense in battle for all ages!

r1-t2-d7 District: 7
Location: San Marcos, TX
Final Score: Texas State 60, Stephen F. Austin 22
Notes: Texas State is emerging from three-team dogfight with UTEP and New Mexico Lobos to claim West division title, and also slaying other Texas SSR school, Stephen F. Austin two times this season. SFA is like little brother wanting to enter hard drug trade to idolize older brother, but is instead being beaten by #2 offense of older brother for own good, as strange show of love. And yet, proud Lumberjacks is accomplish rare feat this season – starting as #12 seed in District to make to championship game. Bobcats is climbing as high as #2 Top Power rank this season, losing only to tough Lobos and Louisiana-Monroe, and is facing Appalachian State in Round 2 of playoffs.

r1-t2-d8District: 8
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Final Score: Colorado State 39, UNLV 29
Notes: Colorado State, in resplendid orange-and-green uniform of old times, is playing like team on critical KGB mission. Last season, Rams is sneaking into Tier 2 playoffs, surprise winning District title over UNLV, surprise upsetting top-seed North Dakota State, and almost surprise beating eventual champion North Texas in Final Four game. This season, is different – Rams is now #1 Top Power rank after repeat beating of UNLV in District 8 Championship. CSU is having very good offense and defense, and playing very difficult schedule, taking down UNLV Rebel team that is even better than last season. CSU will now face lowest-seed Tulane in Round 2 of playoffs. What if history is repeating from last year, only with CSU losing to lowest-seed team? This is irony, da?

Intern Bobby is saying...Blegh. So I’ve been like, *super* groggy and out-of-it ever since Georgy put me to sleep in that hyperbolic chamber thing. I don’t even know how many days I was in there, but it was definitely more than two. AND I’m missing a front tooth! But, Georgy showed me the surveillance tape and it was definitely my own klutzy fault. I told Georgy to erase it, but he’s all like, “Nyet, I will enter into American Funny Home Video competition on television.” I don’t know. It’d kind of be cool to be famous, I guess.

PREPARE FOR ROUND TWO OF PLAYOFFS

Here is schedule for Tier 2/Round 2 playoffs:

  • (1) Colorado State (12-1, #1) vs.
    (8) Tulane (8-5, #20)
  • (2) Georgia Southern (12-1, #2) vs.
    (7) UMass (10-3, #8)
  • (3) Texas State (11-2, #4) vs.
    (6) Appalachian State (11-2, #7)
  • (4) Western Kentucky (11-2, #5) vs.
    (5) Illinois State (11-2, #6)

Look at this schedule. Then, wipe drool from mouth. I am saying this to Intern Bobby often, due to missing tooth and always-running, disgusting drool from mouth.

Tier 2 Playoffs: Is Only Little Bit Less Glory

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Here is painting showing famous incident when fans of Western Michigan Broncos is attacking Big Red, mascot for Western Kentucky Hilltoppers.

Here is painting showing famous incident when fans of Western Michigan Broncos is surrounding and attacking Big Red, mascot for Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. WMU fans is claiming Big Red is yelling insult about Michigan SSR, but fans of Hilltoppers is claiming this is false, and WMU fan on horseback is giving cowardly sucker punch to Big Red. In end, no one is suffering injury, because Big Red is simply large soft blob, and punch is not hurting.

Every American college football fan is watching Tier 1 playoff race with much interest. But do not forget about Tier 2, perhaps most interesting level of Commie Football! Here, collision is happening between weakest teams from old FBS level and best teams from old FCS level.

Every season, Tier 2 is most affected by promotion and relegation from both Tier 1 and Tier 3 levels. To win championship on Tier 2 level is little less glorious than Tier 1, but here is where pride of victory is most pure!

Many fans of defending Tier 2 champion North Texas Mean Green (7-5) and runner-up Buffalo Bulls (9-3, #12 Top Power rank) is crying and complaining in kvass when teams is not being promoted to Tier 1 after successful 2013 season. But in 2014, neither team is making Tier 2 playoffs! Superior Commie Football system is revealing many mysterious truths about American college football.

CONTENDERS FOR TIER 2 CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY

TIER 1 PLAYOFFS: Round 1


District 1:
MASS vs.
NOVA

District 2:
RICH vs. APP

District 3:
CCU vs.
GASO

District 4:
SAM vs. TULN

District 5:
WMU vs. WKU

District 6:
UNI vs. ILST

District 7:
SFA vs. TXST

District 8:
CSU_2014 vs. UNLV
  • District 1: UMass Minutemen (9-3, #11) vs. Villanova Wildcats (9-3, #14) – UMass is winning North division tiebreaker because of Week Seven victory over New Hampshire (9-3, #13), but is looking like weakling in 29-8 loss to Brown Bears (7-5) in final game of regular season. Villanova is clinching weak South division many weeks ago on strength of #4 rank defense.
  • District 2: Richmond Spiders (8-4, unranked) vs. Appalachian State Mountaineers (10-2, #7) – Spiders is sneaking away with North division due to Week Seven victory over William & Mary (8-4, #25). Appalachian State is playing like monster, enjoying seven-game win streak and scoring 50 points in each of final two games of regular season. Mountaineers smushed the Spiders 32-24 in Week Ten.
  • District 3: Coastal Carolina Chanticleers (8-4, #24) vs. Georgia Southern Eagles (11-1, #3) – CCU is making second consecutive playoff appearance, playing solid defense in weak division but losing final two games of regular season to bad teams. Georgia Southern is having strong offense and was once #1 Top Power, but is suffering big loss two weeks ago to Appalachian State to spoil perfect season. GSU beat the Chanticleers 45-25 in Week Six.
  • District 4: Samford Bulldogs (10-2, #8) vs. Tulane Green Wave (7-5, unranked) – Samford is having good season, but is playing weakest schedule on Tier 2 this season. Tulane is winning division tiebreaker with victories over both Southern Miss and South Alabama (both 7-5).
  • District 5: Western Michigan Broncos (12-0, #1) vs. Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (10-2, #5). In Week Five meeting of West vs. West, was very close game with WMU winning 31-29. Broncos is having #4 ranked offense, but is soft on defense. Hilltoppers is having top-ranked offense, scoring 40+ points in eight games, but defense is even more soft! And yet, WKU is not losing any game since last meeting with WMU, including convincing 50-28 victory over Toledo (9-3, #16) in final week.
  • District 6: Northern Iowa Panthers (9-3, #17) vs. Illinois State Redbirds (10-2, #6) – UNI is making playoffs thanks to #5 ranked defense and unusual weak season for North Dakota State (7-5). ISU is having top-rank defense on Tier 2, but is also having good offense and six-game win streak.
  • District 7: Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks (8-4, unranked) vs. Texas State Bobcats (10-2, #4) – SFA is almost blowing opportunity, following 7-0 start with four-game losing streak, including 38-23 loss to Texas State in Week Eleven. But is managing close 27-24 victory over Northwestern State Demons (5-7) in final week to make playoffs. Texas State is emerging from most difficult division on Tier 2, showing explosive offense in final week 53-19 victory vs. strong UTEP (9-3, #9). This, together with unexpected upset of New Mexico Lobos (9-3, #10) by rival New Mexico State (4-8), is sending Bobcats to playoffs.
  • District 8Colorado State Rams (11-1, #2) vs. UNLV Rebels (9-3, #15) – Here is rematch of District 8 Championship from last season, which CSU is winning 39-31. Colorado State, in resplendent green and orange colors, is having good balance on offense and defense, and winning despite very difficult schedule. UNLV is destroying San Jose State (8-4, #23) 46-16 in final game to win division, and is having #6 rank offense on Tier 2.

PLAYOFFS IS VERY CLOSE. ONLY SIX WEEKS FROM NOW.

Intern Bobby is saying...So, after shoveling out and reinforcing the perimeter trench (again) the other night, I’ll admit I was feeling hungry and emotional, so I complained to Georgy about missing Thanksgiving back home. He’s like, “What is this – Thanksgive?” and I explained about the pilgrims and Native Americans, turkey and stuffing, etc. So he goes “You are wanting to celebrate this Thanksgive here? Is good idea.” And he hands me one of his old bayonets, and goes “With this you are killing wild indeyka, then cleaning of feathers, cooking on fire, and I am eating for breakfast. After, you is saying spasibo to me, to thank for opportunity of internship in Russia.”

Now you are knowing all 16 playoff  teams on both Tier 1 and Tier 2 levels. You are excited to begin playoff football games, to know very best American college football teams for season.

Only here is thing. In order for Commie Football to determine champion teams, is requiring proper data. This data is to include scores from meaningless bowl games named after corporation and games from flawed, inferior College Football Playoff. Only with this data can Soviet supercomputer determine ultimate fate of teams in world of Commie Football.

Is sometimes difficult for spoiled Americans to understand true meaning of concept “patience.” Is not so difficult. As example, Soviet citizens is waiting many hours, sometimes days, in middle of winter, standing in long line at market for latest shipment of petrol, and then is only receiving one liter, maximum.

Week 11: Is Resurrection of Ole Miss

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Holy legend of Mississippi SSR is telling of resurrection of Rebels leader Colonel Reb.

Popular legend in Mississippi SSR is telling of resurrection of holy figure Colonel Reb, after one fortnight of capture, torture, dismemberment, and ritual burial in city of Memphis, Tennessee SSR. Many modern Soviet scholars is thinking this is perhaps local folk tale confused with American legend of Elvis, who is also from city of Memphis and is not truly dead, instead living life of luxury outside Moscow.

Reign of Buckeye nut is lasting only short as reign of Fighting Irish! After 27-22 upset loss in Week 11 to old rival Penn State (8-3, #17 rank), Ohio State (9-2, #6) is dropping like common hazelnut from #1 Top Power rank down to #6.

This is clearing way for return of Ole Miss Rebels (10-1) to top ranking. You are remembering only two short weeks prior, Rebels is suffering embarrassing upset loss to Memphis Tigers. But since this dark day, Ole Miss is winning two difficult games: 18-17 vs. FSU (9-2, #7) and most important, with 25-6 victory vs. LSU (6-5) in Week 11, Ole Miss is clinching playoff spot in difficult District 4 West (see Playoff Tracker below).

With only one week remaining in regular season, is still 8 of 16 playoff spots up for grabbing! Here is good look at hot playoff races:

TIER 1 PLAYOFF TRACKER

District 1:TEMP vs. South Champ
District 2:ECU vs. South Champ
District 3:ND vs. OHSU
District 4:East Champ vs. MISS
District 5:WISC vs. South Champ
District 6:ARK vs. West Champ
District 7:South Champ
vs. North Champ
District 8:North Champ vs.
USC
  • District 1 is having reputation for weakness, and here is why. Having already clinched North division, Temple Owls (9-2, #12 rank) is now playing like lenivyy American “slacker” from early 1990s, losing 22-13 to Bulls of USF (5-6). In South division, West Virginia (9-2, #13) is also making mess, losing 35-21 to little brother Marshall Thundering Herd (5-6) in annual Druz’ya of Coal Bowl rivalry game. If Mountaineers is losing final game of season to feisty Terps (5-6), and Penn State (8-3, #17 rank) is beating Navy (2-9), Nittany Lions is then winning division and playoff spot!
  • District 2: East Carolina (8-3, #20) is finally waking up and winning North division, with 75-33 destruction of Army (3-8). In South division, Georgia (9-2, #8) is defeating old nemesis Florida Gators 29-13, while Tennessee (8-3, #22) is making spit on Vanderbilt, 45-14. Bulldogs and Vols meet in Week 12 with division title and playoff spot on line!
  • District 3: What is stronger: angry small leprechaun or hard-shell of buckeye nut? Football fans is finding out in January, when division winners Notre Dame (10-1, #3) and Ohio State (9-2, #6) is competing in District 3 Championship game.
  • District 4: Ole Miss (10-1, #1) victory over LSU is clinching West division title. This is making for “anticlimax” final game of season vs. rival Mississippi State (8-3, #19). In East division, Auburn (9-2, #11) is blowing chance to clinch title after losing 30-13 to archrival Crimson Tide (3-8) in annual Iron Bowl rival game. Alabama is perhaps biggest mystery of 2014 Commie Football season! Now there is opportunity for defending 2013 champion Seminoles of Florida State (9-2, #7), who is beating Boston College 29-24, to steal division and playoff spot because Tigers and Seminoles meet in final week of season to decide fate!
  • District 5: In North division, Northwestern (7-4) is losing 39-29 to Michigan State (7-4), and Minnesota is losing 31-19 to Iowa (7-4). Is important, because with 41-19 victory over Michigan Wolverines, Badgers of Wisconsin (8-3, #15) is now clinching division and playoff spot! In South division, Nebraska (7-4) is blowing opportunity in 44-33 loss to lowly Colorado (2-9), allowing Hawkeyes and Mizzou (7-4) to catch in standings. Cornhuskers and Missouri meet next week, with Huskers in control of destiny. Tigers is needing win plus Iowa loss to Iowa State (1-10) to make playoffs.
  • District 6: East division champ Arkansas Razorbacks (9-2, #10) is giving 46-8 noogie to little brother Red Wolves of Arkansas State (3-8). In West division, TCU (9-2, #4) is beating BYU 40-25, and can win division with victory next week vs. once-mighty Texas Longhorns (6-5). Texas A&M (9-2, #9) is surviving Texas Tech 35-32, but is needing TCU loss plus victory over feared Baylor Bears (8-3, #16) in final week for playoff berth. Baylor cannot win division due to Week 7 loss to Horned Frogs.
  • District 7: Boise State (8-3, #21) is beating Arizona Wildcats (7-4) 32-28, but must face BYU (7-4) in final game for North division crown. In South division, Oklahoma (7-4) is losing annual Red River Showdown game, 29-24 to Longhorns, making three-way tie with Arizona and Arizona State Sun Devils (all 7-4). Sooners is having head-to-head advantage, but is facing other big rival Oklahoma State (5-6) in final game. Arizona is facing Tulsa (4-7), and ASU is facing Texas Tech (3-8).
  • District 8: California (8-3, #18) is losing 36-28 to UCLA (8-3, #14) and blowing head-to-head advantage over Oregon Ducks (9-2, #5), who is beating Stanford (7-4, #25) 29-21. Oregon is now clinching North division with Week 12 victory over Washington Huskies (6-5), or loss by Golden Bears to Wazzou (4-7). This week, South division champ USC Trojans (10-1) is beating Washington 33-28 and moving up to #2 Top Power rank.

TIER 2: SEASON IS YET PERFECT FOR WESTERN MICHIGAN

Western Michigan Broncos (11-0, #1) is last remaining unbeaten team in either Tier 1 or Tier 2, following 38-33 victory over Jackrabbits of South Dakota State (5-6). Here is look at more Tier 2 action, with only one game of regular season to play:

TIER 2 PLAYOFF TRACKER

District 1:MASS vs.
NOVA
District 2:North Champ vs. APP
District 3:CCU vs.
GASO
District 4:SAM vs. South Champ
District 5:WMU vs. South Champ
District 6:North Champ vs. ILST
District 7:East Champ
vs. West Champ
District 8:CSU_2014 vs. South Champ
  • District 1: With 38-19 victory over Central Michigan Chippewas (4-7), UMass (9-2, #8) is now claiming North division and playoff spot. South division champ Villanova (8-3, #15) is playing like vacation week in 36-24 loss to Maine Black Bears (5-6).
  • District 2: Appalachian State (9-2, #11) is looking like champion, destroying top-ranked Georgia Southern (10-1, #3) 50-27 and claiming South division title! In North division, Richmond Spiders (7-4) is beating Charlotte 43-37 and is holding advantage over William & Mary (7-4), who is also winning 35-28 over Old Dominion. Final week will determine fate!
  • District 3: Perfect season for Georgia Southern (10-1, #3) is now sad, crushed dream. But will still play in January! District 3 Championship is set vs. Chanticleers of Coastal Carolina (8-3, #20), who is also looking like loser this week, falling 26-24 to North Carolina Central (4-7).
  • District 4: North division champ Samford (10-1, #4) is beating Citadel (3-8) 20-17.  In South, is confusion! Tulane (6-5) is losing to ULM Warhawks (7-4, #22) 37-15. South Alabama (6-5) is losing 29-26 to FIU (7-4, #25). Meantime, Southern Miss (6-5) is beating FAU (6-5) 23-21, so now is three-way tie for division lead. Green Wave is having head-to-head advantage, but must beat Troy (4-7) next week. South Alabama is facing Southern (5-6) and Southern Miss is playing Jackson State (2-9). If all three lose, then Jacksonville State Gamecocks (7-4) will go to District 4 Championship game!
  • District 5: Unbeaten WMU (11-0, #1) is already claiming North division, but South division title is being decided next week when Toledo Rockets (9-2, #13) and Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (9-2, #10) is fighting in winner-take-all playoff glory cage match.
  • District 6: North division race will be decided next week, when Northern Iowa (8-3, #21) is meeting Leathernecks of Western Illinois (7-4) for division title and playoff invitation. WIU is needing to play football better than this week, when losing 52-25 to new South division champ Illinois State Redbirds (9-2, #7).
  • District 7is most interesting. In East division, Stephen F. Austin (7-4) is now losing incredible fourth game in row, this time 38-23 to Bobcats of Texas State (9-2, #9), allowing ULM (7-4, #22) to catch in standings. Can Warhawks steal division with victory vs. McNeese (3-8) next week?  In West division, is yet three-way tie heading into final week! UTEP (9-2, #6) and Texas State will fight to death, but the Lobos of New Mexico (9-2, #5) can take division with victory over rival NMSU (3-8) and loss by Miners to Bobcats.
  • District 8: In rematch of 2013 playoff game, North division champ Colorado State Rams (10-1, #2), in beautiful orange and green uniforms, is once again teaching North Dakota State who is best team, winning 34-30. All marbles of South division is depending on outcome of next game between UNLV (9-2, #17) and San Jose State (9-2, #19), who is losing this week in pathetic fashion, 21-8 to UTEP.

Is yet amazing 7 of 16 playoff tickets unclaimed on Tier 2 level!

Here is photo only now received in package, but is being made one month ago. Is showing Condoleezza reaction when asked about chance of favorite team, Stanford Cardinal, to make Commie Football playoffs.

Here is photo only now received in package, but is being made one month ago. Is showing Condoleezza reaction when asked question about chance of favorite team, Stanford Cardinal, to make Commie Football playoff.

IS CONDOLEEZZA LISTENING?

With great excitement of Commie Football playoff race, I am sometimes wondering if Tovarisch Condoleezza (and rest of College Football Playoff committee) is following with interest. I am especially brooding this late in night, after Intern Bobby is falling asleep by fire and entire world is feeling cold and lonesome.

All I am hearing is howl of cruel, winter wind. Also, I am hearing howl of wild wolves moving in circles around cabin, sometimes making try to scratch through thin wooden door. This is when I am having opportunity to thrust sharp metal pole through knotholes in wood, in attempt to kill wolf for fresh meat.