IN COMMIE FOOTBALL PLAYOFFS, DEATH IS CLOSE, ALWAYS
In Siberia, deadliest animal is not human. Is Siberian tiger.
Every Siberian peasant child is knowing that tiger is hunting never alone, always with partner. If you are seeing tiger in forest, then second tiger is also close. This is last thought in brain, before tiger is attacking, biting, and eating you like American “cheep” of potato!
But like Premier Putin, in response to Siberian-public-safety crisis, Oklahoma Sooners (12-1, #1) is on mission to eliminate Tigers… from Commie Football playoffs! Is first? Tigers of Memphis (you read more below).
Is next? Tigers of Clemson (10-3, #8), who this week is killing and disemboweling Colonel Reb and his Rebels of Ole Miss in upset victory (you read more below, also).
IS NO BAMA? IS NOT PROBLEM.
In Commie Football system, Soviet supercomputer is determine true champion, with perfect, equal organization, and fair regular season schedule for all teams. 16 regional champions is then entering playoff to determine true national champion.
In recent season, such as 2013 (and 2014), Commie Football is declaring same champion as in corrupt, inferior BCS/CFP system. But this season – Crimson Tide of Alabama (9-3, #10 Top Power rank) is not even making to Commie Football playoff, losing District 4 West title to Ole Miss!
Who then, is to becoming TRUE CHAMPION of AMERICAN COLLEGE FOOTBALL FOR 2015 SEASON? Here is results for Round 2 of playoffs to determine. Only four teams is now remain!
Game: Cotton Bowl
Location: Arlington, Texas SSR
Final Score: Oklahoma 38, Memphis 24
Notes: Memphis (9-5, #15) is now dead tiger, and miracle season is sudden finish, like life of wild Siberian tiger, from bullet in gun of Premier Putin. Sooners is #1 Top Power rank due to most victories. Why is most victories? Is perhaps due to #1 rank offense in all Tier 1. What then, is weakness of Sooners? Is mediocre defense ranking (#45). Next tiger attack will surely attempt to exploit – beware of Clemson Tigers (of District 2)!
Game: Orange Bowl
Location: Miami, Florida SSR
Final Score: Notre Dame 36, West Virginia 30
Notes: Fighting Irish is winning in uncomfortable-close game to Mountaineers (9-4, #14), who is looking humorous all week, wearing hat made of yenot skin, with fuzzy tail of animal hanging from side, on sunny Miami beach. Similar-rank offense and defense for both teams is making for interesting fight. But it is Irish who is go now to play rematch of Week 11 victory over rival USC Trojans (of District 8) for fight to death… or right to national championship invitation!
Game: Rose Bowl
Location: Pasadena, California SSR
Final Score: USC 32, Utah 22
Notes: Da, is Trojans who is easy defeating Utes of Utah (10-3, #9), who is having not-good-enough defense for powerful #6-rank offense of USC, who is playing in District 8 home. Defeat is ending six-game streak of winning for Utah Utes, but schedule this season is much weaker in District 7. USC is now traveling to fight most difficult battle yet – rematch of Week 11 loss to rival Notre Dame (of District 5)!
Game: Sugar Bowl
Location: New Orleans, LA
Final Score: Clemson 34, Ole Miss 26
Notes: Is not first time Colonel Reb and Ole Miss is being disembowled by tiger! Perhaps Mississippi SSR is inviting Premier Putin to visit, to solve tiger problem? How is Clemson winning this game so easy? Tigers is having lower rank offense (#37) and defense (#25) than Ole Miss! Perhaps it is Clemson who is playing more with heart of champion in critical game situation. Or perhaps Ole Miss is bringing ineffective weaponry, like old musket rifle and flag of Confederate rebel army, to tiger hunt. Is second visit consecutive to Sugar Bowl for Ole Miss, but game result this year is… tasting not sweet.
ROUND 3: SEMIFINALS (AKA “FINAL FOUR”)
Here is Round 3 playoff schedule:
- (1) Oklahoma (13-1, #1) vs. (5) Clemson (11-3, #5) – Aloha Bowl
- (2) Notre Dame (11-3, #2) vs. (3) USC (11-3, #3) – Peach Bowl
In next day or two, you are visiting website to learn result of teams playing in second round of Tier 2 playoffs.
SITUATION UPDATE: INTERROGATION CHAMBER
Is yet delay with finding passcode for unlocking door of interrogation chamber, where Bobby and Intern Kyle is both locked for many days. Stench entering interrogation room is VERY most foul. I am only today finish with routine-but-critical maintenance on plumbing system attaching to supercomputer system for cooling. Corrosion is building on pipes, is possible to cause blockage, which is ruin supercomputer. Then is only backup cooling mechanism, to prevent TOTAL meltdown of supercomputer! This task is more critical to website function, but now, I am return attention to find passcode. Is on small piece of paper, somewhere in this room, or perhaps other.
If you are administrator from Yale University in Connecticut SSR – do not be having worry! Is nothing to concern. Intern Kyle is living in interrogation chamber, but is wide gap between metal bars, to allow food and fresh water for prisoner.