Tier 2 Playoffs: You Are Feeling Intensity?

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In act of intimidation prior to 64-23 victory vs. Chattanooga in final regular season game, WKU mascot Big Red is removing red fur costume to show Mocs and entire world how strong is football program.

In act of intimidation prior to 64-23 victory vs. Chattanooga in final regular season game, WKU mascot Big Red is removing red fur costume to show Mocs and entire world how strong is football program.

DO NOT FORGET! IS TIER 2, ALSO.

Tier 1 playoff race is commanding attention of American media, but increasing number of fans is discovering pleasure of Tier 2 level, where weakest teams from old FBS level is competing for honor and glory alongside best teams from old FCS level.

Each season, Tier 2 is most impacted by promotion and relegation from both Tier 1 and Tier 3 levels. To win championship on Tier 2 level is perhaps little bit less glorious than Tier 1, but here is where satisfaction of victory is most pure, like mystical waters of Lake Baikal!

Last season, Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (11-1) is utilizing powerful offense to fight entire way to Tier 2 championship game, where is sad when losing to superior Colorado State Rams, by mere three points. Then, WKU is suffering much disrespect when four other teams is receiving promotion to Tier 1 level, but not Hilltoppers! Instead, WKU is stuck on Tier 2 level, like porosenok in mud, moving to new district during annual realignment… and plotting revenge.

Now, instead of large, soft red blob, Big Red is looking strong like Vasily Alekseyev, with 2nd rank offense and 15th rank defense, rising to #1 Top Power rank on Tier 2 level! But here is interesting challenge – opponent in District 4 Championship game is same, only team who is defeating WKU in Week Six. Is Southern Miss Eagles (11-1, #2 rank), who is having 1st rank offense and also spectacular season. Who will emerge, like steam from Tolbachik volcano, as superior team and advance to Round 2 of Tier 2 playoffs?

CONTENDERS FOR TIER 2 CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY!

TIER 2 PLAYOFFS: Round 1

District 1:HARV vs. NOVA
District 2:JMU vs. NCAT
District 3:SCSU vs. GASO
District 4:WKU vs. USM
District 5:TLDO vs. AKRN
District 6:SDST vs. SIU
District 7:TULN vs. NEES
District 8:WYO vs. SJSU
  • District 1: Harvard Crimson (9-3, #9) vs. Villanova Wildcats (9-3, #14) – All season, Intern Bobby is mewling like feral cat about greatness of Harvard! Offense is mediocre 36th rank, but defense is indeed 3rd strongest on Tier 2 level, leading Crimson to three weeks consecutive at #1 Top Power rank. But strange, three-game losing streak is changing perspective, including Week 10 loss to Villanova, who is entering 2015 postseason with exact same record and rank as 2014! Wildcats is winning division due to Week Nine victory over Seawolves of Stony Brook (9-3, #18) and the SBU 1st rank defense.
  • District 2: James Madison Dukes (10-2, #7) vs. North Carolina A&T Aggies (9-3, #12) – JMU is spending almost entire season with top ten ranking and has 10th rank offense, but will weak, 52nd rank defense bring playoff doom? NCAT is opposite, with strong 9th rank defense and mediocre 47th rank offense, winning final three games of season to seize South division from favored William & Mary (8-4, #21) and surprise North Carolina Central (9-3, #17).
  • District 3: South Carolina State Bulldogs (8-4, #27) vs. Georgia Southern Eagles (11-1, #3) – SCSU is winning weak North division with strong 8th rank defense and dramatic 32-27 victory over Coastal Carolina (6-6) in final week of regular season. GSU is making second consecutive playoff appearance with same record and rank as 2014! Powerful offense (8th) and defense (5th) is keeping Eagles one-step before Florida Atlantic (9-3, #16) in division, who is responsible for lone GSU loss.
  • District 4: Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (11-1, #1) vs. Southern Miss Eagles (11-1, #2) – Many is considering this game to be true championship of entire Tier 2 level, pitting two most powerful offenses and top-ranked teams. Will WKU suffer breaking heart like last season? Can USM 38th rank defense contain strength of Big Red, as in 46-30 Week Six victory? Eagles is losing only in Week One of season and is scoring 70+ points two times in final three weeks!
  • District 5: Toledo Rockets (10-2, #5) vs. Akron Zips (8-4, #28) – Toledo is yet remembering humiliation of relegation after disaster 2013 season on Tier 1 level, using shame as fuel for success on Tier 2, rising to #1 Top Power rank after Week Eight, but failing to remain high in sky with humiliation 78-19 loss to rival Bowling Green (8-4, #19)! Is Rockets making recovery in time for playoff? After losing first two games of season, Akron is seizing weak South division with four-game win streak at end, including victory over Ball State (7-5).
  • District 6: South Dakota State Jackrabbits (8-4, #26) vs. Southern Illinois Salukis (9-3, #15) – Jackrabbits is hopping into playoffs when Northern Illinois (8-4, #20) is blowing opportunity in 33-29 loss to Northern Iowa in final week of regular season. 6th rank defense and Week Nine win over NIU is opening doorway. SIU is having 9th best offense on Tier 2 level, defeating all five division rivals, including Illinois State (9-3, #11) in Week Three.
  • District 7: Tulane Green Wave (8-4, #22) vs. McNeese State Cowboys (11-1, #4) – Tulane is playing one of most difficult schedules on Tier 2 level, including Week Five loss to McNeese, but victories over both Alcorn State (7-5) and Southern U (7-5) is locking down East division. McNeese is bouncing back from 3-9 record in 2014 to defeat every District 7 opponent and claim West division. Mere two-point loss to Montana State in Week Eight is preventing unbeaten record!
  • District 8: Wyoming Cowboys (9-3, #13) vs. San Jose State Spartans (10-2, #6) – Wyo is climbing as high as #4 Top Power rank with decent, 19th rank offense, but is losing two of final three games to finish season with many questions. SJSU is possessing explosive 4th rank offense, spending much of season in top 20 and fending off rival UNLV (8-4, #23) for South division title, despite loss to Runnin’ Rebels in Week Nine.

OKAY, YOU WILL NOW WAIT SIX WEEKS FOR START OF PLAYOFFS.

OMG, so Harvard like, totally kicked Yale’s butt – 30-something to like, 16 or 18 or something? – in the final game of the regular season AND made the Tier 2 playoffs! I’m totally rubbing it in Kyle’s face. But he just grunts like a caveman and skulks away. Whatever. My life couldn’t be better. Of course, it’d always be nice to be a little closer to home. And you know, I miss my American friends. And family. And Netflix. And being allowed to use the internet and talk on the phone unmonitored. Especially around the holidays, you know? My mom makes reeeeeally good pumpkin pie. But I keep telling myself – hey, this is the working world, this is my best job offer after getting kicked out of college, and I have to like, work my way up the ladder. Of course, I didn’t imagine it as like, a LITERAL metal ladder – every time Georgy orders me to do something around here! Up and down, up and down! Every tool he (or Kyle) ever needs to fix some piece of stupid equipment is located in like, an old, greasy box, under a tarp, on the top shelf, in the back closet, behind a bunch of rusty, leaking pipes, in the furthest storage chamber down on one of the subterranean levels! Why are there no elevators in this place? Oh, wait – there is one, but Georgy won’t give me the stupid access code! Ugh. Happy Thanksgiving.

You are now knowing all 16 playoff teams on both Tier 1 and Tier 2 levels. You are excited to begin playoff games, to determine very best American college football teams for 2015 season.

But you must learn patience, because you will wait many weeks for this information. Here is why – in order for Soviet supercomputer to calculate champion teams, is requiring proper data. This data is to include scores from meaningless bowl games named after corporation and games from flawed, inferior College Football Playoff. Only with this data can supercomputer algorithm determine ultimate fate of teams in world of Commie Football.

Is always difficult for spoiled Americans especially, always wanting now, now, now, to understand true meaning of this concept, patience.

Is not so difficult to learn. As example, Soviet citizens is waiting many hours, sometimes days, in middle of winter, standing in long queue to await latest shipment of fresh goat’s milk. And then is only receiving one-half liter, maximum.

Week 11: All Oklahoma SSR is Holding Breath

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Fans in Oklahoma SSR is racing to purchase ticket for college football playoff game, but is yet uncertain which team is to represent District 6 North division.

Fans in Oklahoma SSR is racing to purchase ticket for college football playoff game, but is yet uncertain which team is to represent District 6 North division.

WILL #1 RANK TEAM OF AMERICAN COLLEGE FOOTBALL NOT MAKE TO PLAYOFF?

TIER 1 PLAYOFF TRACKER

District 1:CONN vs. South Champ
District 2:North Champ
vs. South Champ
District 3:North Champ vs.
MEMP
District 4:USF vs. West Champ
District 5:ND vs.
IOWA
District 6:North Champ
vs. UH
District 7:UTAH vs.
USAF
District 8:WASH vs. South Champ

Is mere one game remain in 2015 Commie Football regular season, but is yet seven empty spaces on Commie Football Tier 1 playoff tracker! Following Week 11 games, six additional teams is now qualifying for Tier 1 playoffs: UConn Huskies, South Florida Bulls, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Houston Cougars, Utah Utes, and Washington Huskies. You remember, first round of playoffs is eight District Championship games – one division winner is playing other division winner from same District.

Eight “District Champions” is then competing in seeded playoff tournament. Is much better system than NCAA, where mere handful of teams is having true, legitimate opportunity for playing in minuscule, four-team College Football Playoff! Is idiot solution.

But there is yet strange situation in District 6. Last week, Oklahoma Sooners is becoming #1 Top Power rank team in country, according to Soviet supercomputer. Close rival Oklahoma State Cowboys is then #2 Top Power rank, but is ahead of OU in District 6 North division standings, due to OSU victory over OU in Week Two.

Tension in Oklahoma SSR is reaching all-time high! Could #1 Top Power rank team in nation not make to playoff, due to early season loss to #2 team, who is with coincidence in same division? Da, comrade! Is possible in Commie Football!

Odnako, this week Oklahoma State is ruining drama of situation somewhat with loss. You are reading recap below. But yet, is possible for either team to win division in remaining week!

Here is Week 11 roundup of important game results:

  • District 1: UConn Huskies (8-3, #19 rank) is defeating Wake Forest 27-15 to claim District 1 North title and invitation to District 1 championship game; WVU (7-4) is defeating rival from same SSR, Marshall Thundering Herd 38-9; Because Penn State (7-4) is losing 30-18 to Rutgers Scarlet Knights, final game of season between PSU and WVU will determine South division title and championship game berth; Navy (7-4, #24) is defeating rival Army 38-21, and is strongest team in South according to Top Power rank, but Midshipmen is already eliminated from playoff contention due to losses to both PSU and WVU earlier in season.
  • District 2: Blue Devils of Duke (8-3, #20 rank) is beating Maryland Terps 41-35, but North division title is elusive due to Week 2 loss to UNC; Speaking of, Tarheels of North Carolina (7-4, #25) is beating Syracuse 36-28, but is requiring Week 12 victory over Wake Forest and Duke loss to make playoffs; Clemson Tigers (8-3, #16) is defeating NC State 31-27 to control South division, but Week 3 loss to Appalachian State is causing delay in celebration; Meanwhile, App State (7-4) is defeating Ohio Bobcats 42-26, to maintain playoff dream until very end!
  • District 3: Defending champion Ohio State (8-3, #12 rank) is losing in 31-24 upset to Pitt Panthers (4-7), damaging hope for Buckeye repeat championship; Wolverines of Michigan (9-2, #4) is beating Northwestern 18-14 to take lead in North division playoff hunt; With South division title already in paw, Memphis Tigers (7-4) is losing like lazy dog to Louisiana Tech 24-13; Michigan State Spartans (8-3, #14) is impressive in 15-10 victory vs. Wisconsin Badgers (7-4, #22), but cannot win division, due to Week Nine loss to hated Wolverines.
  • District 4: Miracle South Florida Bulls (9-2, #6 rank) is clinching District 4 East title with 56-19 defeat of South Carolina Gamecocks; Ole Miss (8-3, #7) is defeating Mizzou 29-12 to maintain edge in District 4 West playoff race; Crimson Tide of Alabama (8-3, #9) is beating defending District 4 champion FSU (7-4, #21) 23-22, but playoff dream is depending on victory vs. LSU next week, and Ole Miss loss.
  • District 5: Since Wisconsin is losing, Fighting Irish (9-2, #3 rank) 34-22 defeat of old enemy USC Trojans (8-3, #8) is clinching District 5 North title; Already victor of South division, Iowa Hawkeyes (10-1, #2 rank) is beating Golden Gophers of Minnesota 32-26 and will face Notre Dame in District 5 championship game!
  • District 6: Sooners of Oklahoma (10-1, #1 rank) is beating enemy Texas Longhorns 31-27, but playoff spot is yet insecure; Oklahoma State Cowboys (9-2, #5) is blowing opportunity in 39-22 upset defeat to BYU Cougars (6-5), but is not yet dead like Trotsky – if Tulsa can defeat Sooners next week; Houston Cougars (7-4) is losing 18-17 in shame to lowly UTEP (2-9), but is yet clinching South division title when Baylor Bears is losing in shame to Arizona State Sun Devils (6-5)!
  • District 7: Utah Utes (8-3, #18 rank) is clinching North division title with 31-12 defeat of Oregon State Beavers; Washington State (7-4) is defeating Boise State (6-5) 32-16 to crush Bronco playoff dream; Fans of Air Force Falcons (8-3, #17) is yet in shock over South division title, but team is downing Colorado State Rams 40-22 to maintain proper playoff altitude. Is Utah vs. Air Force in District 7 Championship game!
  • District 8: Washington Huskies (8-3, #11 rank) is seizing North division title with commanding 68-9 victory vs. Hawaii Rainbow Warriors; South division is resulting in many fan biting of fingernails due to three-way tie! Stanford Cardinal (8-3, #13), top-ranked team in country only few weeks ago, is now losing third game in row, this time 35-31 to Oregon Ducks (5-6), now Cardinal can only find playoff path with win vs. USC (8-3, #8) next week; however, UCLA Bruins (8-3, #10) is defeating Golden Bears of Cal 26-15, and could yet make playoffs with victory in final week vs. Fresno State plus USC loss!
TIER 2 PLAYOFF TRACKER

District 1:HARV vs. South Champ
District 2:JMU vs. South Champ
District 3:North Champ
vs. South Champ
District 4:WKU vs. USM
District 5:TLDO vs. South Champ
District 6:North Champ
vs. South Champ
District 7:East Champ vs.
NEES
District 8:WYO vs. South Champ

TIER 2: BIG RED WILL HAVE REVENGE

Genius of Commie Football system is reaching down to Tier 2 level also, where is yet NINE playoff invitations unsent! Excitement of Commie Football system is spreading to many more college football fans, for is 16 teams with true chance to fight for championship!

Following Week 11 game results, is three new teams - Harvard Crimson (8-3, #14), Southern Miss (10-1, #2), and Toledo Rockets (9-2, #5) – winning division to earn Tier 2 playoff appearance.

But is new #1 Top Power rank team, and this is perhaps not surprise if you are close observer of Tier 2. Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (10-1) is now flying over Southern Miss like intercontinental ballistic missile, to take over #1 Top Power rank position!

Will Hilltoppers make it to top of Tier 2 hill? WKU is yet bitter, like unwashed blood root, and angry, like bear drinking vodka, over loss in 2014 Tier 2 Championship game! Subsequent to this, is SNUB when is time to promote teams to Tier 1 level for new season. Best revenge is winning Tier 2 Championship!

Week Nine: Wind is Come, is Sweeping Down Plain

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In tense scene from violent American western film with much singing, "Oklahoma SSR!",

In tense scene from violent American western musical film of Cold War era, “Oklahoma SSR!”, here is moment before climactic fight with guns, when Curley is singing to Laurey song telling legend of “Pistol Pyotr” – while Laurey is loading gun, to vicious shoot Curley in zheludok!

WEIGHT OF BEAR IS TOO HEAVY FOR GREAT TREE

Lone unbeaten team in world of Commie Football, Stanford Cardinal, is falling like Siberian pine tree, losing game finally in Week Nine to District 8 South division rival UCLA Bruins (6-3, #20). This is dropping Stanford (8-1) like old log to #3 Top Power rank, creating empty space for new team to occupy.

Who is new #1 team? Is Sooners of Oklahoma (8-1, #1), who is beating very much TCU Horned Frogs (6-3, #22), by score 51-22. This is creating curious situation in District 6 playoff hunt, where Sooners is now having better Top Power rank, but is stuck like tractor in mud behind Oklahoma State Cowboys (8-1, #2) in North division standings, due to 54-33 OSU victory over OU in Week 2.

Could #1 Top Power rank team in all of American college football be yet disqualify from playoffs?! Da, all is possible in brave, new world of Commie Football!

Sigh. I just adore musicals. Don’t you? Seriously, doesn’t everyone? Deep down inside, I mean? Even if they’re all like, “GRUUUNT. I HATE MUSIC THIS IS STUPID NOBODY JUST STARTS SINGING IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCE DURRH…” -ahem! (direct kyle quote) -ahem! ? All of the Rodgers and Hammerstein productions were like, mega-strong, but who’s fooling who? “The Sound of Music” is WHAT. THE. HILLS. BE. ALIVE. WITH. You heard the woman.  Well, Yale kinda blew it last week with a loss, so my dream of having them come back to win the Tier 2/District 1 title ain’t happening. But math isn’t really Bobby’s thing, so he hasn’t really figured out that Harvard’s definitely gonna finish with a better record. So this week, after the Massholes lost to MAINE of all teams, and Yale totally POUNDED New Hampshire, I was all like, “Hey Bobby! Bulldogs’re COMIN’!” and glare at him, and he’d like, slink away and disappear until he’d either get hungry and come looking for food, or want to use the inside toilet, ‘cuz he’s afraid he’ll see another Yeti creature or whatever, like that one time at the old outdoor latrine from last season’s Commie Football headquarters, or something. Hard to follow all his blabbing.

Here is roundup of Week 9 action in all Districts of Tier 1:

  • District 1: Is tense three-way fight for North division lead! At this time, UConn (6-3, #25 rank) is holding advantage following unusual 12-4 victory vs. Army Black Knights; Temple Owls (6-3, #24) is keep playoff hopes also alive with 55-28 victory over Rutgers Scarlet Knights; Boston College Eagles (6-3) is now having 5-game win streak after 25-20 victory vs. Syracuse; In South, Penn State (6-3) is yet team to beat after 26-23 victory vs. Maryland Terps.
  • Is week of many upsets in District 2: NC State (3-6) is surprise spanking Blue Devils (7-2, #13 rank) like rebenok 45-19, yet Duke is North division leader; Georgia Bulldogs (5-4) is upset beating Clemson (6-3) 20-13, and is now only one game behind in standings; South Carolina Gamecocks (5-4) is defeating Appalachian State (6-3) 32-27 to make playoff race in South division tight, like kazn’ cherez povesheniye!
  • District 3: 2014 champion Ohio State Buckeyes (7-2, #9 rank) is beating Bearcats of Cincinnati 31-22 to hold North division playoff advantage; Is no miracle in Commie Football – Michigan Wolverines (7-2, #5) is defeating Michigan State Spartans (6-3, #19) 44-27; In South, Memphis Tigers (6-3, #23) is beating Thundering Herd of Marshall 37-28 to hold 2-game lead.
  • District 4: Mysterious East division leader USF Bulls (7-2, #12 rank) is ugly winning 15-13 over Florida Gators; In big West division clash, is Ole Miss (7-2, #8) defeating LSU (6-3) 41-34 for much drinking of Hotty Toddy; Alabama (6-3, #18) is only one game behind in West standings after 36-13 victory vs. Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns, but Crimson Tide is losing to Rebels in Week 2.
  • District 5: Notre Dame (7-2, #6 rank) is maintaining North division lead after 35-22 victory vs. Golden Gophers of Minnesota; Wisconsin Badgers (6-3, #16) is only one game behind after important 26-23 victory vs. Northwestern; In West, Iowa Hawkeyes (8-1, #4) is sneaking by Cornhuskers of Nebraska 37-33 to now take two-game lead.
  • District 6: Big 51-41 shootout victory vs. Arkansas Razorbacks is not enough to lift Oklahoma State (8-1, #2 rank) to #1 Top Power ranking; Designation is going instead to rival Sooners of Oklahoma (8-1, #1), who is bad beating TCU Horned Frogs (6-3, #22) 51-22; Houston Cougars (7-2, #10) is defeating Texas A&M 30-20 to create two-game lead in South division playoff race.
  • District 7: Boise State Broncos (6-3, #14 rank) is defeating Utah State 31-14 to remain in lead of North division, due to Week 3 victory over Utah Utes; But Utah Utes (6-3) is winning Holy War rival game vs. BYU 33-15 to remain close in playoff hunt; Surprise Air Force Falcons (6-3) is holding two-game lead in weak South division after 29-16 victory vs. Arizona Wildcats.
  • District 8: Washington Huskies (7-2, #11 rank) is beating Cal Golden Bears (6-3) 34-31 for retaking of North division lead; UCLA Bruins (6-3, #20) is ruining perfect season of Stanford Cardinal (8-1, #3 rank) in 26-21 upset victory; But is USC (7-2, #7) who is closest to catching Stanford in South division after Trojans beat Aztecs of San Diego State 32-27.

SOUTHERN MISS TO THE TOP (OF TIER 2)!

USMOld American expression “Holy Toledo” is what many fan is shouting when reading frightening 78-19 losing score for previous #1 Top Rank Toledo Rockets (7-2, now #9 rank) in Week Nine loss to archrival Bowling Green Falcons (6-3, #17), who is showing no mercy in pursuit of glorious Battle of I-75 Trophy. New #1 Top Power team on Tier 2 level is Southern Miss Eagles (8-1), who is beating Jacksonville State 30-18 to maintain lead in T2/District 4 South playoff hunt. Rest of top five rank teams is Western Kentucky (#2), Georgia Southern (#3), Wyoming Cowboys (#4), and James Madison (#5).

WYOSpeaking of cowboys, pozdravleniya to Wyoming Cowboys (8-1, #4 rank), who is first team from either Tier 1 or Tier 2 level to claim ticket to playoff game. With 28-17 victory of Montana Grizzlies, Cowboys is clinching title in weak T2/District 8 North division.