Week 11: Is Resurrection of Ole Miss

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Holy legend of Mississippi SSR is telling of resurrection of Rebels leader Colonel Reb.

Popular legend in Mississippi SSR is telling of resurrection of holy figure Colonel Reb, after one fortnight of capture, torture, dismemberment, and ritual burial in city of Memphis, Tennessee SSR. Many modern Soviet scholars is thinking this is perhaps local folk tale confused with American legend of Elvis, who is also from city of Memphis and is not truly dead, instead living life of luxury outside Moscow.

Reign of Buckeye nut is lasting only short as reign of Fighting Irish! After 27-22 upset loss in Week 11 to old rival Penn State (8-3, #17 rank), Ohio State (9-2, #6) is dropping like common hazelnut from #1 Top Power rank down to #6.

This is clearing way for return of Ole Miss Rebels (10-1) to top ranking. You are remembering only two short weeks prior, Rebels is suffering embarrassing upset loss to Memphis Tigers. But since this dark day, Ole Miss is winning two difficult games: 18-17 vs. FSU (9-2, #7) and most important, with 25-6 victory vs. LSU (6-5) in Week 11, Ole Miss is clinching playoff spot in difficult District 4 West (see Playoff Tracker below).

With only one week remaining in regular season, is still 8 of 16 playoff spots up for grabbing! Here is good look at hot playoff races:


District 1:TEMP vs. South Champ
District 2:ECU vs. South Champ
District 3:ND vs. OHSU
District 4:East Champ vs. MISS
District 5:WISC vs. South Champ
District 6:ARK vs. West Champ
District 7:South Champ
vs. North Champ
District 8:North Champ vs.
  • District 1 is having reputation for weakness, and here is why. Having already clinched North division, Temple Owls (9-2, #12 rank) is now playing like lenivyy American “slacker” from early 1990s, losing 22-13 to Bulls of USF (5-6). In South division, West Virginia (9-2, #13) is also making mess, losing 35-21 to little brother Marshall Thundering Herd (5-6) in annual Druz’ya of Coal Bowl rivalry game. If Mountaineers is losing final game of season to feisty Terps (5-6), and Penn State (8-3, #17 rank) is beating Navy (2-9), Nittany Lions is then winning division and playoff spot!
  • District 2: East Carolina (8-3, #20) is finally waking up and winning North division, with 75-33 destruction of Army (3-8). In South division, Georgia (9-2, #8) is defeating old nemesis Florida Gators 29-13, while Tennessee (8-3, #22) is making spit on Vanderbilt, 45-14. Bulldogs and Vols meet in Week 12 with division title and playoff spot on line!
  • District 3: What is stronger: angry small leprechaun or hard-shell of buckeye nut? Football fans is finding out in January, when division winners Notre Dame (10-1, #3) and Ohio State (9-2, #6) is competing in District 3 Championship game.
  • District 4: Ole Miss (10-1, #1) victory over LSU is clinching West division title. This is making for “anticlimax” final game of season vs. rival Mississippi State (8-3, #19). In East division, Auburn (9-2, #11) is blowing chance to clinch title after losing 30-13 to archrival Crimson Tide (3-8) in annual Iron Bowl rival game. Alabama is perhaps biggest mystery of 2014 Commie Football season! Now there is opportunity for defending 2013 champion Seminoles of Florida State (9-2, #7), who is beating Boston College 29-24, to steal division and playoff spot because Tigers and Seminoles meet in final week of season to decide fate!
  • District 5: In North division, Northwestern (7-4) is losing 39-29 to Michigan State (7-4), and Minnesota is losing 31-19 to Iowa (7-4). Is important, because with 41-19 victory over Michigan Wolverines, Badgers of Wisconsin (8-3, #15) is now clinching division and playoff spot! In South division, Nebraska (7-4) is blowing opportunity in 44-33 loss to lowly Colorado (2-9), allowing Hawkeyes and Mizzou (7-4) to catch in standings. Cornhuskers and Missouri meet next week, with Huskers in control of destiny. Tigers is needing win plus Iowa loss to Iowa State (1-10) to make playoffs.
  • District 6: East division champ Arkansas Razorbacks (9-2, #10) is giving 46-8 noogie to little brother Red Wolves of Arkansas State (3-8). In West division, TCU (9-2, #4) is beating BYU 40-25, and can win division with victory next week vs. once-mighty Texas Longhorns (6-5). Texas A&M (9-2, #9) is surviving Texas Tech 35-32, but is needing TCU loss plus victory over feared Baylor Bears (8-3, #16) in final week for playoff berth. Baylor cannot win division due to Week 7 loss to Horned Frogs.
  • District 7: Boise State (8-3, #21) is beating Arizona Wildcats (7-4) 32-28, but must face BYU (7-4) in final game for North division crown. In South division, Oklahoma (7-4) is losing annual Red River Showdown game, 29-24 to Longhorns, making three-way tie with Arizona and Arizona State Sun Devils (all 7-4). Sooners is having head-to-head advantage, but is facing other big rival Oklahoma State (5-6) in final game. Arizona is facing Tulsa (4-7), and ASU is facing Texas Tech (3-8).
  • District 8: California (8-3, #18) is losing 36-28 to UCLA (8-3, #14) and blowing head-to-head advantage over Oregon Ducks (9-2, #5), who is beating Stanford (7-4, #25) 29-21. Oregon is now clinching North division with Week 12 victory over Washington Huskies (6-5), or loss by Golden Bears to Wazzou (4-7). This week, South division champ USC Trojans (10-1) is beating Washington 33-28 and moving up to #2 Top Power rank.


Western Michigan Broncos (11-0, #1) is last remaining unbeaten team in either Tier 1 or Tier 2, following 38-33 victory over Jackrabbits of South Dakota State (5-6). Here is look at more Tier 2 action, with only one game of regular season to play:


District 1:MASS vs.
District 2:North Champ vs. APP
District 3:CCU vs.
District 4:SAM vs. South Champ
District 5:WMU vs. South Champ
District 6:North Champ vs. ILST
District 7:East Champ
vs. West Champ
District 8:CSU_2014 vs. South Champ
  • District 1: With 38-19 victory over Central Michigan Chippewas (4-7), UMass (9-2, #8) is now claiming North division and playoff spot. South division champ Villanova (8-3, #15) is playing like vacation week in 36-24 loss to Maine Black Bears (5-6).
  • District 2: Appalachian State (9-2, #11) is looking like champion, destroying top-ranked Georgia Southern (10-1, #3) 50-27 and claiming South division title! In North division, Richmond Spiders (7-4) is beating Charlotte 43-37 and is holding advantage over William & Mary (7-4), who is also winning 35-28 over Old Dominion. Final week will determine fate!
  • District 3: Perfect season for Georgia Southern (10-1, #3) is now sad, crushed dream. But will still play in January! District 3 Championship is set vs. Chanticleers of Coastal Carolina (8-3, #20), who is also looking like loser this week, falling 26-24 to North Carolina Central (4-7).
  • District 4: North division champ Samford (10-1, #4) is beating Citadel (3-8) 20-17.  In South, is confusion! Tulane (6-5) is losing to ULM Warhawks (7-4, #22) 37-15. South Alabama (6-5) is losing 29-26 to FIU (7-4, #25). Meantime, Southern Miss (6-5) is beating FAU (6-5) 23-21, so now is three-way tie for division lead. Green Wave is having head-to-head advantage, but must beat Troy (4-7) next week. South Alabama is facing Southern (5-6) and Southern Miss is playing Jackson State (2-9). If all three lose, then Jacksonville State Gamecocks (7-4) will go to District 4 Championship game!
  • District 5: Unbeaten WMU (11-0, #1) is already claiming North division, but South division title is being decided next week when Toledo Rockets (9-2, #13) and Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (9-2, #10) is fighting in winner-take-all playoff glory cage match.
  • District 6: North division race will be decided next week, when Northern Iowa (8-3, #21) is meeting Leathernecks of Western Illinois (7-4) for division title and playoff invitation. WIU is needing to play football better than this week, when losing 52-25 to new South division champ Illinois State Redbirds (9-2, #7).
  • District 7is most interesting. In East division, Stephen F. Austin (7-4) is now losing incredible fourth game in row, this time 38-23 to Bobcats of Texas State (9-2, #9), allowing ULM (7-4, #22) to catch in standings. Can Warhawks steal division with victory vs. McNeese (3-8) next week?  In West division, is yet three-way tie heading into final week! UTEP (9-2, #6) and Texas State will fight to death, but the Lobos of New Mexico (9-2, #5) can take division with victory over rival NMSU (3-8) and loss by Miners to Bobcats.
  • District 8: In rematch of 2013 playoff game, North division champ Colorado State Rams (10-1, #2), in beautiful orange and green uniforms, is once again teaching North Dakota State who is best team, winning 34-30. All marbles of South division is depending on outcome of next game between UNLV (9-2, #17) and San Jose State (9-2, #19), who is losing this week in pathetic fashion, 21-8 to UTEP.

Is yet amazing 7 of 16 playoff tickets unclaimed on Tier 2 level!

Here is photo only now received in package, but is being made one month ago. Is showing Condoleezza reaction when asked about chance of favorite team, Stanford Cardinal, to make Commie Football playoffs.

Here is photo only now received in package, but is being made one month ago. Is showing Condoleezza reaction when asked question about chance of favorite team, Stanford Cardinal, to make Commie Football playoff.


With great excitement of Commie Football playoff race, I am sometimes wondering if Tovarisch Condoleezza (and rest of College Football Playoff committee) is following with interest. I am especially brooding this late in night, after Intern Bobby is falling asleep by fire and entire world is feeling cold and lonesome.

All I am hearing is howl of cruel, winter wind. Also, I am hearing howl of wild wolves moving in circles around cabin, sometimes making try to scratch through thin wooden door. This is when I am having opportunity to thrust sharp metal pole through knotholes in wood, in attempt to kill wolf for fresh meat.

Week Four: Rebels is Capturing #1 Top Power Rank

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Here is photo showing confrontation between Red Army soldiers and alleged leader of Ole Miss Rebels, known as Colonel Reb. Is only one to two dozen tailgating fans being killed, maximum.

[CLICK FOR ZOOM] Here is photo showing confrontation between Red Army soldiers and alleged leader of Ole Miss Rebels, alias “Colonel Reb”. This is location near The Grove tailgate party in Oxford, Mississippi SSR. Is only small number of casualties at tailgate.


Is very unpopular word to members of central politburo. When early draft of this blog post is being sent to Goskomizdat for fact-checking, top officials is making small mistake, calling for Red Army to invade town of Oxford and crush Mississippi SSR rebellion. Commie Football is making apology for this happening! Good news is that official number of deaths is much smaller than first reports in American underground media!

Other good news is for fans of unbeaten Ole Miss Rebels, who is taking new #1 spot in Top Power 25 supercomputer ranking after glorious 23-0 beatdown victory over winless Jayhawks of Kansas in Week Four of Commie Football season. Rebels is replacing in top rank Texas A&M Aggies, who is also yet unbeaten, but is perhaps not winning with same feel of domination. Schedule is also being very nice for Ole Miss so far, with opponents who are not winning even one football game yet this season!

Week Four is featuring games with all teams from one District playing all teams from other District. Here is summary of important Week Four game results all around country (do NOT get this information from American underground media!):

  • District 1Temple Owls (4-0) is continuing rare, historic era of unbeaten glory with 28-11 win over Huskies of Washington, and flying high to #5 Top Power ranking; Penn State (3-1) is suffering first defeat of season, 46-16 to powerful Bruins of UCLA; this is creating three-way tie at top of South Division with Virginia Cavaliers (3-1, #22), who is surprise handing first loss to Oregon State, 40-11, and WVU (3-1) who is winning close 30-29 vs. Wazzou.
  • District 2: East Carolina (3-1) is tied for lead in North Division after 43-31 defeat of Texas Tech; NC State (3-1) is suffering first loss of season in 42-27 upset by Air Force; Kentucky Wildcats (4-0, #14) is continuing surprise season with 38-31 defeat of Colorado.
  • District 3: Notre Dame (4-0, #8) is already running away with North Division, three games ahead of pack after 44-7 ass-kick of sad SMU; Ohio State Buckeyes (3-1, #16) is leader in South Division, is eating much more victory rice than Rice University, who is being beaten by score of 48-24.
  • District 4: Ole Miss is not only undefeated team from Mississippi SSR! Quietly, like KGB agent, Mississippi State Bulldogs (4-0, #13) is remaining unbeaten after 36-18 victory over Illinois; Auburn Tigers (4-0, #9) is taking care of Northern Illinois by score of 45-18; oh, and also do not forget about 2013 champion Florida State Seminoles (4-0, #7), who is yet unbeaten following difficult 38-31 victory over defending District 5 champion Mizzou.
  • Speaking of District 5: Wisconsin Badgers (3-1, #25) is latest team to humiliate mysterious, underperforming, winless Crimson Tide of Alabama, by score of 23-20; Northwestern (3-1, #19) is beating UCF 28-12; Golden Gophers of Minnesota (3-1) is in North Division race with 24-10 victory over Vanderbilt; in South, Nebraska Cornhuskers (3-1, #20) is handling Miami Hurricanes 28-18; Hawkeyes of Iowa (3-1) is also winning 26-14 vs. Arkansas State.
  • District 6: Razorbacks of Arkansas (4-0, #11) is crushing Bowling Green 56-29; in West Division, is three unbeaten teams – Texas A&M is falling to #3 Top Power even with 43-28 victory over Cincinnati Bearcats; TCU Horned Frogs (4-0, #4) is continuing impressive start to season with 43-14 humbling of Marshall; sneaky Baylor Bears (4-0, #10) is showing it is still top team with 30-24 win over Louisville Cardinals.
  • District 7: Oklahoma Sooners (4-0, #15) is leading South after 39-34 close win vs. Clemson; Boise State (3-1) is very close 32-31 defeating of Tarheels of North Carolina; BYU (3-1) is in tie for North after 42-22 defeat of Georgia Tech.
  • District 8: Stanford (4-0) is climbing to #2 Top Power rank, after easy 46-13 victory over Navy; keeping Cardinal company at top of South Division is UCLA (4-0, #6) and USC (4-0, #12); Oregon State Beavers, Washington Huskies, and Oregon Ducks (#23) is all tied with 3-1 record at top of North Division.
A "Chanticleer" is a breed of ferocious rooster. Is pronounced "SHAN-TICKLER" like device used for tickling.

“Chanticleer” is rare species of ferocious rooster. Is pronounce “SHAN-TICKLER” like device that is used for tickling enemies. Is very common weapon in coastal villages of South Carolina SSR.


On Tier 2 level, everyone is learning proper way to say “Chanticleer” now that Coastal Carolina is 4-0 and #1 Top Power rank after defeating Coyotes of South Dakota 29-13. But is yet undefeated teams in every District of Tier 2.

UTEP Miners is making big leap from #9 to #3 in Top Power rank after 45-27 victory over previous unbeaten North Carolina A&T. Also making big jumps in Top Power rank is defending District 6 champion North Dakota State (from #17 to #5) who is beating defending District 3 champion South Carolina State 25-8. Texas State, Yale Bulldogs, Stephen F. Austin, and Alabama State is all surprise unbeaten teams moving into top 10 of Top Power rankings (calculated by advanced Soviet supercomputer).

But do not be dismissive of two very top teams from last season! North Texas Mean Green (3-1, #21) and Buffalo Bulls (3-1, #25) is both recovering from early season loss to now move into Top Power 25 after tough victories of Week Four. Season is yet young, like first growth of July springtime vegetation, under hard, icy soil of vast Siberian steppe.


If citizens of Mississippi SSR is loving this place “The Grove” and enjoying this thing named “Hotty Toddy” — is best course of action to not speak of rebellion.