Down at Crossroads, Is Also Time for Realignment

Share Button

crossroadsRealignment is not having impact only on Tier 1 level. Like famous American blues guitar player Ralf Macchio, Tier 2 is true “crossroads” in organization of PUACF, where teams is both departing and arriving, due to innovative promotion and relegation process.

For upcoming 2015 season, is nine new teams playing on Tier 2 level: Ball State, Bowling Green, Kent State, and Northern Illinois (from Tier 1 via relegation); and Alcorn State, GramblingMercerMorgan State and Western Carolina (from Tier 3 via promotion). Due to this influx of new teams to Tier 2, is necessary for geographic realignment.

Here is entire list of changes for each Tier 2 district (1 through 8) in coming 2015 season. Team names in bold is signifying new team in district, team names in italic is team moving from opposite division of same district:


DISTRICT 1: Is nothing new. As in Tier 1/District 1, is same teams in same divisions.

NORTH: Brown, Harvard, Maine, New Hampshire, UMass, Yale
SOUTH: Lafayette, Lehigh, Penn, Princeton, Stony Brook, Villanova


DISTRICT 2: Is saying “have good luck” to Appalachian State, who is receiving promotion to Tier 1, and do svidaniya to Elon, who is suffering relegation to Tier 3. Is also saying “howdy” to Morgan State, who is receiving promotion from Tier 3, and Charlotte 49ers, who is moving here from District 3. William & Mary is also shifting to South division.

NORTH: Delaware, James Madison, Liberty, Morgan State, Richmond, Towson
SOUTH: Charlotte, Norfolk State, North Carolina A&T, North Carolina Central, Old Dominion, William & Mary


DISTRICT 3: Is adding two new teams being promoted from Tier 3 – Western Carolina and Mercer, who is replacing Charlotte (move to District 2) and Georgia State (move to District 4) .

NORTH: Citadel, Coastal Carolina, Furman, South Carolina State, Western Carolina, Wofford
SOUTH: Bethune-Cookman, FIU, Florida A&M, Florida Atlantic, Georgia Southern, Mercer


DISTRICT 4: Is many changes. UAB Blazers is dying like Trotsky, while Jackson State, Southern U, and Tulane is all moving to new configuration in District 7. To replace departed teams is Georgia State (from District 3), and trio of teams from District 5: Middle Tennessee; Tennessee State; and runner-up from Tier 2 championship, Western Kentucky. These changes is also causing Alabama State, Jacksonville State, and Samford switch to South division.

NORTH: Alabama A&M, Chattanooga, Georgia State, Middle Tennessee, Tennessee State, Western Kentucky
SOUTH: Alabama State, Jacksonville State, Samford, South Alabama, Southern Miss, Troy


DISTRICT 5: Is welcoming three teams relegated from Tier 1: Ball State, Bowling Green, and Kent State. To make space, is sending Middle Tennessee, Tennessee State, and 2014 Tier 2 runner-up WKU to District 4. Also, three teams is swapping divisions: Akron, Toledo, and Youngstown State.

NORTH: Bowling Green, Buffalo, Central Michigan, Eastern Michigan, Toledo, Western Michigan
SOUTH: Akron, Ball State, Eastern Kentucky, Kent State, Miami (OH), Youngstown State


DISTRICT 6: Skyhawks of Tennessee-Martin is being relegated to Tier 3, but is being replaced here by Northern Illinois, relegated from Tier 1. Western Illinois is switching divisions to make space for Huskies.

NORTH: North Dakota, North Dakota State, Northern Illinois, Northern Iowa, South Dakota, South Dakota State
SOUTH: Central Arkansas, Eastern Illinois, Illinois State, Missouri State, Southern Illinois, Western Illinois


DISTRICT 7: Is experiencing many changes, including departure of Texas State and UTEP – both promoted to Tier 1. To replace is addition of two new teams promoted from Tier 3: Alcorn State and Grambling. New Mexico, New Mexico State, and Northern Arizona is moving to District 8, being replaced by three teams from District 4: Jackson State, Southern U, and Tulane. Five teams is also switching from East to West division.

EAST: Alcorn State, Grambling, Jackson State, Louisiana-Monroe, Southern U, Tulane
WEST: Lamar, McNeese State, North Texas, Northwestern State, Sam Houston State, Stephen F. Austin


DISTRICT 8: 2014 Tier 2 champion Colorado State Rams is now promoted to Tier 1, while UC Davis and Southern Utah is both relegated to Tier 3. To replace, is three teams moving from District 7. Also, Sacramento State is shifting to North division.

NORTH: Eastern Washington, Idaho, Montana, Montana State, Sacramento State, Wyoming
SOUTH: Cal Poly, New Mexico, New Mexico State, Northern Arizona, San Jose State, UNLV



Here is photo Intern Bobby is sending to me via cellphone, of Soviet gunship shooting missle at him, before departing for an additional three months.

Here is photo Intern Bobby is sending to me via cellphone message, of Soviet gunship shooting missle at him, before departing for additional three months, minimum.

Is unfortunate situation. You may remember from previous post, I am making many tedious preparation for Intern Bobby to leave emergency secondary headquarter via Mi-24 military gunship helicopter, because internship is now over.

As final task of internship, I am giving Bobby map and compass to find path over many kilometers of difficult terrain to rendezvous point with helicopter. Is final reward for Bobby, as show of trust in spite of many mistakes he is always making during previous football season.

But Bobby is behaving in unserious manner. Is thinking this is simple task, that Georgy will help if there is difficulty to find rendezvous location. Bobby Is learning hard lesson how serious is this situation.

Helicopter is dropping supplies, da, then is waiting for three hours, then is again departing. But Bobby is only finally locating rendezvous location after gunship is already in air for departing.

Bobby is then running from forest, shooting flare pistol, which is causing gunship to believe it is experiencing attack! Gunship is firing missles in return, but is lucky for Bobby, because kickback of flare gun is causing him to fall behind old tree stump, protecting from blast of missles. Gunship is then believing Bobby dead, and is leaving area. I am finding Bobby later and returning to emergency secondary headquarter, having to carry him on sled, also full of new supplies.

Now Bobby is remaining here for additional three months, minimum, until next shipment of supplies is necessary… and NEW INTERN is beginning for next season! Chert poberi!

Promotion & Relegation: Is “Redrum” for Some Teams

Share Button
Here is photo Bobby is taking showing vision of Condoleezza in hallway here at emergency secondary headquarters.

Here is photo Intern Bobby is taking, showing vision of Condoleezza in rare-used corridor of emergency secondary headquarters. Bobby is having long conversation, but is not telling me what Condi is saying, which is making me very angry. VERY VERY ANGRY.

When Commie Football season is ending following Tier 1 and Tier 2 championship games, is natural for to become quiet here at emergency secondary headquarters. In past years, is taking perhaps two or three weeks to make repairs to exterior structure, due to harsh winter climate. Then is many days of hunting wild game in deep forest in order to replenish food storage. Then is perhaps one week more in hyperbaric sleep chamber, for body to repair from injuries of football season. Then, is time for running Soviet supercomputer algorithm to determine promotion and relegation for next season.

What is this meaning? At end of every Commie Football season, some teams is earning promotion from Tier 2 to Tier 1 for next season. Also opposite, some teams is moving down from Tier 1 to Tier 2 in process called relegation. Is very common system to European professional sport league, but is never popular in American sport leagues. Until Commie Football is bringing!

But this is unusual offseason. First, is endless snowstorm and extreme cold temperature, strange even for remote Russia. This is freezing and destroying communications equipment, preventing contact with outside world. Second, is eerie quiet in headquarters, with only sound of low hum in server chamber (and perhaps faint sound of dissonant violins).

Intern Bobby is saying...All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy. All work and no play makes Bobby a dull boy.

Third, is strange behavior of Intern Bobby. After overflowing hot tub like wild animal at end-of-season celebration, Bobby is then forgetting to make critical final season standings and Top Power rankings updates to website. Later, I am discovering missing emergency food supplies, half eaten in Bobby’s chamber wastebasket. Is he finding secret way to pick lock on food storage chamber? Is impossible! Lock is always secure. Also, review of security camera footage is showing that Bobby is in his own chamber most hours.

Finally, I am one day hearing Bobby speaking in corridor. When I am looking, Bobby is standing at one end of long passage, speaking to someone at opposite end, saying “forever and ever and ever.” Wave of excitement is overtaking me as I am seeing vision of Condoleezza Rice at other end of hallway.

In this vision, Condi is beautiful and smiling, but not waving hello. Then is sudden disappearing! I am shaking Bobby by shoulders, screaming “What is Condoleezza saying?! What is latest news on mission to undermine corrupt, inferior College Football Playoff system?!” But Bobby is only staring into distance, never telling what she is having said to him! This is more evidence of Bobby being simple-minded, spoiled American rebenok!

But please, let us return to promotion and relegation. Here is moment you are waiting. Is four teams making leap from Tier 2 to Tier 1 for next football season:



  • Colorado State Rams (15-1, #1) – After glorious victory in Tier 2 championship game, CSU is now returning to Tier 1 level after three seasons on lower level. Here is good question – is CSU now strongest football program in Colorado SSR? Rivalry games against Colorado Buffs and Air Force Falcons is now again possible.
  • Texas State Bobcats (12-3, #3) – Many college football fans is never hearing of this team. But Texas State is emerging from crazy difficult District 7 West division and advancing to Round 3 of playoffs, before losing to eventual runner-up Western Kentucky.
  • Appalachian State Mountaineers (11-3, #7) – WVU is not only Mountaineers in Tier 1! Appalachian State is rebounding from two losing seasons to become District 2 champion and advance to Round 2 of playoffs, where is losing Texas State. Average attendance is also very strong.
  • UTEP Miners (9-3, #10) – Is perhaps most surprising team to receive promotion, but UTEP is powerful team, only missing playoffs due to great season of Texas State. Average attendance is also higher than many teams already on Tier 1.

Some fans is asking – where is Tier 2 runner-up team WKU? Georgia Southern? Western Michigan, who is remaining unbeaten until losing in first round of playoffs? This is where average attendance is critical measurement. Western Kentucky is having very good season, but as 2013 Tier 2 champion Mean Green of North Texas and runner-up Buffalo Bulls is learning one year ago, not every team advancing to championship is automatic receiving promotion invitation! All Tier 1 teams must have certain level of support from fans.

Now, with four teams receiving promotion, must also four teams receive delegation. Is sad, redrum day for these teams, who will play next season on Tier 2 level:


  • Bowling Green Falcons (3-9) – BGSU is having bad season, winning only against two other relegation teams and almost-relegated Ohio Bobcats. Is a return of Falcons to Tier 2 after two seasons at top level.
  • Northern Illinois Huskies (3-9) – Here is team experiencing actual success in recent seasons on Tier 1, but is always having terrible attendance. For teams like this, is lesson – relegation is forever only one bad season away!
  • Kent State Golden Flashes (3-9) – Little Kent State is always fighting above weight. Is surviving relegation last season, but is now returning to lower Tier after two bad seasons at top level.
  • Ball State Cardinals (1-11) – Ball State is Tier 2 runner-up in 2012, then is posting winning record on Tier 1 level in 2013. Is surprise to see tiny Ball State playing with big boys, but sharing Indiana SSR fans with Notre Dame, Purdue, and Indiana Hoosiers, miniscule Ball State is attracting less than 10,000 fans to home games on average. Oh, and also is horrible season record. So is back to Tier 2 for Cardinals!

Next post is explaining promotion and delegation on lower Tiers, including teams receiving promotion from Tier 3 to Tier 2 for 2015 season, as well as delegation from Tier 2 to Tier 3 (and do not forget about Tier 3 to Tier 4)!

I am just having thought. Perhaps if I smash Intern Bobby’s door with sharp topor, he is then revealing what Condoleezza is saying to him.