Playoffs: Two Worlds, On Course for Collision

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National championship game will be held in Orange Bowl next week. Travel to Florida SSR is very difficult for fans of Oregon and Ohio State, so government is providing radio broadcast for fans in Oregon SSR and Ohio SSR, only.

National championship game will be held in Orange Bowl next week. Long journey to Florida SSR is very difficult for fans of Ducks and Buckeyes. As show of goodwill towards American people, Soviet government is providing special radio broadcast, in Russian, for all to hear game.

World of Commie Football is strange, parallel universe, bringing order to former chaotic system of determining American college football champion. Some critic is saying that Commie Football supercomputer is producing impossible result, as when Utah State Aggies is winning 2012 championship. But then, only one season ago, Commie Football supercomputer is crowning same champion (Florida State) as ludicrous BCS system, when Seminoles is narrow defeating Oregon Ducks. After, is more complaints, asking in whining voice – what is this proving, when superior Soviet system is producing same result as terrible, capitalist BCS system?

First, take deep breath. Then slow exhale breath, then TAKE DEEPER BREATH ONCE MORE! NOW SLAP OWN FACE! AGAIN! HARDER! Now stop and continue reading.

Is simple. Even corrupt capitalist system, such as nonsense NCAA, is sometimes having good luck. Either this, or obvious one team is true best team in all worlds of college football.

Sometimes, stupid American system for deciding college champion – whether AP poll, BCS, CFP – is having lucky streak, two years consecutive! Is long way to say – this season, advanced Commie Football algorithm is finding same two teams in championship game as flawed College Football Playoff system! Drisnya! In the name of Condoleezza!

r3-t1-rosebowl

Game: Rose Bowl
Location: Pasadena, CA
Final Score: Oregon 32, Ole Miss 25
Notes: Last season, Oregon is losing championship game to Florida State by only one point. During offseason, fans of Ducks is not sleeping, rolling over on hay mattress again and again, making many trips to outdoor latrine with only one thought – why is this team, which is so good for entire regular season, failing to win championship?

This season, Ducks is experiencing early frustration – beating darlings of 2013 Louisville and Boston College, but also losing to bitter District 8 rivals, Cal Golden Bears and UCLA. Then, beginning in Week Six, Oregon is resembling MiG fighter jet on secret KGB mission – to shoot down and destroy all enemies and fly to top of Top Power 25 rankings AGAIN! Mission is success so far – Oregon is once again advancing to national championship game, this time to play Ohio State, to determine true champion of all college football.

r3-t1-fiestabowl

Game: Fiesta Bowl
Location: Glendale, AZ
Final Score: Ohio State 32, TCU 31
Notes: In most exciting contest of playoff semifinal round, Ohio State is defeating tough TCU by only one point, to advance to championship game against top-seed Oregon Ducks. Why is Buckeyes proving too hard of nut for Horned Frogs to puncture? Soviet supercomputer is finding that in order to win this game, top-rank offense and #4-rank defense of Buckeyes is needing every milligram of strength to defeat TCU, who is also bringing powerful balance of offense (#4) and defense (#10), and also #1 in perception of disrespect!

Even in defeat, fans of Horned Frogs is proud – team is rising from mediocre 6-6 team last season, making Commie Football playoffs for first time, almost advancing to championship game! Is perhaps good enough in ESPN world, but not Commie Football. Do svidaniya, Horned Frogs!

In day or two, we are telling what is happening on Tier 2 semifinal games.

Return next week to find out WHO IS HAVING BIGGEST O!

Playoffs Round 2: Is Surviving of Fittest

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If you are understanding "survival of fittest" theory of evolution by Kharl Darwin, then you are understanding why Commie Football is killing and replacing weak College Football Playoff system.

If you are understanding “survival of fittest” theory of evolution by Soviet scientist Kharl Darwin, then you are understanding why Commie Football is eventual eating and making srat of weak, inferior College Football Playoff system.

REBS, DUCKS, FROGS, AND NUTS IS YET LIVING. ALL OTHER TEAMS IS EXTINCT. 

World of Commie Football is holding many surprises for American college football fan. Superior organization, schedule, and playoff system is meaning only true, strongest teams is advancing, while impostor teams is returning to home university campus to weep in communal shower room, located in cold, hard basement level of dormitory tower, when water is available.

In old BCS and CFP systems, many times inferior, impostor team is making to top of opinion poll with easy, cupcake schedule and influence of booster collective, who is paying many dollars to pollsters of AP, in order to secure vote. If pollster is not accepting of bribe money, he is sudden disappearing, like Leon Trotsky.

And yet, sometimes in rare case, such as 2013, Commie Football is declaring same champion as in corrupt BCS/CFP system. Perhaps this is true, natural order, as in famous teachings of Kharl Darwin! Is yet possible this season also, as all four games of Round 2 is won by team with highest seed.

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Game: Aloha Bowl
Location: Honolulu, HI
Final Score: Oregon 41, Oklahoma 27
Notes: Top-ranked Ducks is utilizing powerful offense to destroy resistance of weak Sooners defense. Oklahoma is also scoring points, but object of game is to finish with more than opponent. Overall, is good season for Sooners, who is making strong return to playoffs. But is Oregon advancing now to Round 3 (final four teams) for second season, consecutive to meet #1-rank defense of Ole Miss Rebels.

r2-t1-cottonbowl

Game: Cotton Bowl
Location: Arlington, TX
Final Score: TCU 39, Wisconsin 20
Notes: Horned Frogs is suffering from historical lack of respect, first from other, more powerful college football teams in Texas SSR, then from administrative districts across entire American continent. Many is making gesture of insult at strange, amphibian mascot. Yet now, is Frogs who are hopping up and down, stabbing soft belly of enemy with sharp horns! Is very best example of American expression “hopping mad”! Badgers and TCU is having amazing same-ranking of defense, but superior offense of TCU is winning game. Next week, can sharp horn of TCU frog make puncture wound into hard shell of Ohio State Buckeye nut?

r2-t1-peachbowl

Game: Peach Bowl
Location: Atlanta, GA
Final Score: Ohio State 39, Tennessee 20
Notes: Buckeyes is taking risk, choosing playoff game location in city close to homeland of Vols. By end of game, stadium is wearing more red than orange, showing support for both OSU (and Mother Russia). Tennessee is simply not good enough to defeat top offense and #4-rank defense from land with two circular sides and elevated middle. Buckeyes is next to face angry-from-perception-of-disrespect TCU Horned Frogs.

r2-t1-sugarbowl

Game: Sugar Bowl
Location: New Orleans, LA
Final Score: Ole Miss 29, Penn State 17
Notes: Is maybe not revenge obshchiy for losing old American Civil War, but Rebels of Ole Miss is returning to land of cotton with northern Nittany Lion tail in hand. Top-rank defense of Ole Miss is smothering weak Penn State offense, and “rebel yell” of fans is making pain in ears of PSU coaches, just like in old song by William Idol.

 

ROUND 3: SEMIFINALS (SOME IS CONFUSING CALLING “FINAL FOUR”)

Is interesting that final four teams in Tier 1 playoff is all having same 12-2 record. Commie Football playoff is ideal system, where superior team is always rising to next level. Is not sentimental television commercial for weak American beer, tasting like water used for washing of dirty botinok! Here is Round 3 schedule:

  • (1) Oregon (12-2, #1) vs. (4) Ole Miss (12-2, #4) – Rose Bowl
  • (2) TCU (12-2, #2) vs. (3) Ohio State (12-2, #3) – Fiesta Bowl

In next day or two, you are visiting website to learn fate of teams playing in second round of Tier 2 playoffs.