Following two-week journey by foot and small boat through dangerous taiga, I am meeting new intern at designated rendezvous location. On equally treacherous return journey, I am learning that new intern is nothing like previous Intern Bobby. Name of new intern is Kyle. I will refer to as “Intern Kyle”. You are seeing photo.
Wait. What is this? You are wondering where is Intern Bobby?
Da, Intern Bobby is yet also here. Is more strange situation, every day. After accident with Soviet attack helicopter, and rapid recovery due to experimental medical procedure over short Russian summer, Bobby is finally emerging from bed chamber and returning to old ways. Is meaning – Bobby is eating all of food storage and spending too much time in hot tub. When I am asking Bobby for help in chopping branches from trees for firewood, he is then complaining of sore arms and legs from missile attack, and saying he must rest more in bed chamber.
DIFFICULT SEARCH FOR NEW INTERN
With return of Bobby’s health, I am deciding to make long distance telephone communication with officials at Harvard University in Massachusetts SSR, to discuss situation (also because paperwork to obtain new intern is confusing, and FAQ on Harvard website is useless!). This is when I am learning there is no student with exact name of Bobby in school enrollment record. Crimson official is making claim that Bobby was expected for campus return this past January, but is making stupid mistake to think internship is for full academic year – two semesters instead of one. For this reason, he is expelled from university.
Is outrage! How can supposed prestigious American university of Harvard send inferior, glupyy student for internship? In anger, I am slicing cord on telephone with nearby bayonet.
Then, I am using shortwave radio to make secret contact with sworn enemy of Harvard, University of Yale in Connecticut SSR. There, I am finding perfect intern candidate who is recent member of Yale football team roster. Due to weightlifting injury during springtime training regimen, Intern Kyle is ineligible for playing this upcoming season, instead receiving “red shirt” designation. This “red shirt” is sounding like very good qualification for Commie Football internship, da?
Is easy to see why Kyle is coming from University of Yale – he is looking much like Yale bulldog mascot. Is perhaps short of height little bit, but is having very thick neck and strong arms. Is good for manual labor, less fragile than Intern Bobby. Also hopeful stronger brain, as well.
Already, new Intern Kyle is asking to hunt and kill wild indeyka, to prove worth. I am telling him, “You must have patience, like Soviet sniper at Battle of Stalingrad.”
BOBBY IS DAMAGING SATELLITE FEED
While I am gone for two weeks to retrieve new intern, Bobby is also playing with critical satellite communication equipment, like video game toy! Now, satellite feed is becoming stuck, playing endless loop of idiot American television program, with title “Friends.” Theme song is digging inside head, like KGB torture!
As simple first task, I am asking Intern Kyle to fix satellite feed. I will assign this task after I am finding out conclusion of story, if Ross and Rashel is finding true love. Is seeming impossible at this moment.